I’m writing to one of MamaKat’s writing prompts.
Why? Because I’m bored and I like them.
Here’s the problem… none of them really suit me. I’m tired of talking about New Years and old posts. I only ever punched one thing – and that was when I was in the 6th grade and her and I are still friends. My in-laws are super nice and would eat anything. And… the cast of characters to play our movie would put Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt back together… so I’m pretty sure Angelina Jolie will end up punching me.
What does that leave me? Top trends of 2011 that I would like to see end. Sounds easy enough, right?
Except – I live in the STICKS – like Amish country – and things that are trendy here are not trendy in ANY OTHER PART OF THE WORLD. So, I’m pretty sure my “trend” list – is going to be someone’s list from 2004… that is about how far behind we are. But, for the sake of our readers and with the aid with a big glass of red wine, I will do my best.
1. UGGGG Boots. Seriously. What is up with a boot that you can’t get wet. What is the freaking point? I live in PA. It rains here. It snows here. When it is cold – like cold enough to wear boots – then it snows. What happens if you wear your boots out and it starts to snow? Do you take them off and put them in your bag? I mean…. They cost like $175.00. Maybe for some this is chump change – but I will have to sell a LOT of Ad space to purchase a pair of them. So – I could buy them – but then I could only wear them around the house. Which means I might as well get hot pink velvet slippers to match my pants.
2. Skinny Pants. Listen People. We are the fattest country on the universe. Stop shoving your fat butts in skinny jeans. Not only that – but (haha – a pun) – people buy jeans that are too skinny for their butt. I don’t want to see anyone’s underwear. Certainly not some fat person in too skinny jeans that has any sort of undies showing out the top. I’m still boot cut 1986 all the way baby! (Ok… maybe not 1986 – those pants touched your boobs – but at least 2003).
3. Gaged Ears. Look. A lot of people look cool with small gages. They are young. They are hip. What I think they fail to realize is they will some day be old. And saggy. And – when everything on your body sags… the last thing you want is ear lobes that sag and draw attention to your sagging face. Tip – you can buy regular earrings that look like gages. Buy those. All the coolness and none of the later sagging.
4. Caillou. I realize this bald little twit has been around since before 2011, but my kids have only started watching him this past year. I mean… come on. You are 4 and still have no hair? He is a whiner. That kids needs a big fat spanking. And then he needs another one. I’ve banned him from my house because I can’t handle him anymore. I’m convinced he is Great Britain’s revenge for the USA becoming its own country a few years back. They have been simmering in silence until now – their perfect revenge… Caillou.
5. I’m also tired of the 1,000,000,000 danger / survival / I’m a hillbilly shows. I love Deadliest Catch. And… because I love my husband – we watch Dual Survivor. But – the Swamp Men, and Pickers, and Moon Shiners, Crocodile Hunters, … and now there are like 5 new fishing shows? People listen – even Deadliest Catch is not that awesome without Phil Harris. Stop with all the mania. No one wants to watch some man and woman survive in the desert together. I think I saw a commercial for a survival / bachelor show? UGH. Because you can find true love when you are traipsing through the rain forest.
There. That is my list. Top 5 Trends of 2011 that I think should End. Like Yesterday. Boots you can wear. Fat people (or skinny people) in jeans that don’t fit. Saggy Ears. A whiny brat. And the reality shows that are the exact same.
What is your list? Please… if you love Caillou– go comment on someone else’s blog. At MamaKat’s – lots of people are linking up.