Trends that Must End.

I’m writing to one of MamaKat’s writing prompts.

 

Why? Because I’m bored and I like them.

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Here’s the problem… none of them really suit me.  I’m tired of talking about New Years and old posts.  I only ever punched one thing – and that was when I was in the 6th grade and her and I are still friends.  My in-laws are super nice and would eat anything. And… the cast of characters to play our movie would put Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt back together… so I’m pretty sure Angelina Jolie will end up punching me.

 

What does that leave me?  Top trends of 2011 that I would like to see end.  Sounds easy enough, right?

 

Except – I live in the STICKS – like Amish country – and things that are trendy here are not trendy in ANY OTHER PART OF THE WORLD.  So, I’m pretty sure my “trend” list – is going to be someone’s list from 2004… that is about how far behind we are.  But, for the sake of our readers and with the aid with a big glass of red wine, I will do my best.

 

image1.  UGGGG Boots.  Seriously. What is up with a boot that you can’t get wet. What is the freaking point?  I live in PA. It rains here. It snows here. When it is cold – like cold enough to wear boots – then it snows.  What happens if you wear your boots out and it starts to snow?  Do you take them off and put them in your bag? I mean…. They cost like $175.00.  Maybe for some this is chump change – but I will have to sell a LOT of Ad space to purchase a pair of them.  So – I could buy them – but then I could only wear them around the house.  Which means I might as well get hot pink velvet slippers to match my pants.

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2.  Skinny Pants.  Listen People.  We are the fattest country on the universe. Stop shoving your fat butts in skinny jeans. Not only that – but (haha – a pun) – people buy jeans that are too skinny for their butt.  I don’t want to see anyone’s underwear.  Certainly not some fat person in too skinny jeans that has any sort of undies showing out the top.  I’m still boot cut 1986 all the way baby!  (Ok… maybe not 1986 – those pants touched your boobs – but at least 2003).

 

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3.  Gaged Ears.  Look. A lot of people look cool with small gages.  They are young.  They are hip.  What I think they fail to realize is they will some day be old. And saggy.  And – when everything on your body sags… the last thing you want is ear lobes that sag and draw attention to your sagging face.  Tip – you can buy regular earrings that look like gages.  Buy those.  All the coolness and none of the later sagging.

 

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4.  Caillou.  I realize this bald little twit has been around since before 2011, but my kids have only started watching him this past year. I mean… come on. You are 4 and still have no hair? He is a whiner.  That kids needs a big fat spanking. And then he needs another one.  I’ve banned him from my house because I can’t handle him anymore.  I’m convinced he is Great Britain’s revenge for the USA becoming its own country a few years back.  They have been simmering in silence until now – their perfect revenge… Caillou.

 

image5.  I’m also tired of the 1,000,000,000 danger / survival / I’m a hillbilly shows.  I love Deadliest Catch.  And… because I love my husband – we watch Dual Survivor.  But – the Swamp Men, and Pickers, and Moon Shiners, Crocodile Hunters, … and now there are like 5 new fishing shows?  People listen – even Deadliest Catch is not that awesome without Phil Harris.  Stop with all the mania.  No one wants to watch some man and woman survive in the desert together.  I think I saw a commercial for a survival / bachelor show? UGH. Because you can find true love when you are traipsing through the rain forest.

 

There. That is my list.  Top 5 Trends of 2011 that I think should End. Like Yesterday. Boots you can wear. Fat people (or skinny people) in jeans that don’t fit. Saggy Ears. A whiny brat. And the reality shows that are the exact same.

 

Oh… and I stole borrowed all these pictures.  Click on the picture to find out where.Mama’s Losin’ It

 

What is your list?  Please… if you love Caillou– go comment on someone else’s blog. At MamaKat’s – lots of people are linking up.

Comments

  1. I never heard of Cailou and didn’t even realize you are supposed to get Ugg boots wet. That makes them truly worthless.

    Stopping by from Writers Workshop.

  2. Miel et Lait says:

    I want to ban the song “Pumped up Kicks.” It doesn’t need to be played ever again! (The first hundred times I heard it, I swore the lyrics with “Pumped up fists,” a la “the dance” for the cast of Jersey Shore.)

    ooh – and calling Pippa Middleton “Her Royal Hotness.” Shouldn’t it be “Her Royal Hiney” I mean – it’s her bum that stole the show, right?

    • Kristen says:

      You know. I was really stuck on this prompt and I actually googled 2011 trends at one point. One of the top things listed was Pippa. Yes – her and J.Lo could get together and shake their booties :)

  3. Jamie says:

    Cailou…Gosh he was around when my high school senior was little. V. annoying little voice. Best get some ear plugs.

  4. Heather says:

    I’m so with you on ALL of these. Especially Caillou, who is so obnoxious. It’s educational programming only if your educational goal is to teach your kids to be whiny and misbehaved. And you and Ray being played by Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt is a perfect choice! I can see the resemblances.

    • Kristen says:

      You are so sweet about the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston thing. I mean… they are really the much better looking version of us. :)

  5. Kristen says:

    Oh, those gaged ears truly make me gag. I have to turn my eyes and try my best not to throw up. Sometimes I even dry heave a bit. A needle through the ear is plenty! No need for these hoops my girls can shoot basketballs through.

    • Kristen says:

      Kristen. The gages are everywhere. What would you do if your girls wanted to gage themselves? AAAKKK? What would I do? We are going to have to plan strategies for this!! I can’t wait to see your list either. I have a lot of reading to do tonight.

  6. Jenn says:

    Oh, we can blame Caillou on CANADIAN public broadcasting, not the British. (I still haven’t forgiven them for the Doodlebops, either) but that whiny little shit is the worst!!!

    Now, the skinny jeans, I can cope with – to a point. It’s the super low cut jeans I could do without – no, I don’t want to see your thong OR your c-section scar.

    • Kristen says:

      Thanks for letting me know it is Canadian and not the British. Sorry British people. Boo Canada :)

      Now I feel like I should be part of that old movie with Chevy Chase and John Candy…. What was that movie called? Anyway – Sorry Canadians. I don’t mean boo… I just mean – Caillou is not your best work of art.

      And – I am totally with you on the c-section scar. YUCK!

  7. Jacki says:

    My son and I will completely agree with you on the Caillou one. That kid is a spoiled brat!

  8. Arnebya says:

    UGG boots: I’ve seen them worn (and seemingly ruined) in rain. What irks me, though, is their being worn in summer. With shorts. How does that even make sense? Your legs are hot but your feet are cold?

    Caillou makes me cringe. I want Rosie to slap him. Since I first saw it years ago when my oldest watched a few times (before I couldn’t take any more), I couldn’t help but think why does he whine like that? Who wrote this? Did they intend for him to come across as a spoiled bratty whiner? Shut up, shut up, shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup little cartoon boy that no one I know likes, even toddlers.

    Thank you for letting me know what the ear thingamajigs are called. I can never accurately describe them. Earrings that aren’t earrings b/c they’re stretching the hole from the normal piercing? Now they at least have a name. And honestly, although it might cause them to lose money, I think all tattoo and piercing artists should be required to give the “you’re gonna sag when you’re 60″ speech before all jobs.

    • Kristen says:

      Yeah – Arnebya – the wearing of Ugg boots in the summer must be a trend that hasn’t hit the sticks yet. Probably this summer I will see it. I’ve occasionally rooted for Rosie to slap Caillou. Once, though – Rosie dumped an entire plate of spaghetti on her Teddy’s head. Again – not behavior I want my kid to imitate!

  9. We used to watch Calliou. Now my son totally isn’t interested.

  10. Andie says:

    OK big secret here. My daughter got a pair of pink uggs for xmas. Good for nothing but walking around the house!

  11. Gretchen says:

    Oh man, I’m so with you on the gaged ears thing. It’s just so stupid. As with EVERY trend, it will soon be totally out of style, and then they’re all stuck with big saggy, freaky, EMBARRASSING earlobes. Yuck. It would probably be a good idea to open some kind of tattoo removal/earlobe reconstruction business!

  12. Cookie's Mom says:

    Ya, I never really got Caillou, and thanks to your tweet from yesterday that song has been running through my head!! ;)

    There are many kids shows that I just don’t get. Some that make me cringe thinking, Oh boy! Something else I’m going to have to undo!

    I don’t get the UG boots either. Is UG short for UGLY, or what?

  13. Melissa says:

    While out to eat this week, we were seated next to a big ole family and everyone of them had gages in their ears. My poor dad couldn’t stop staring…

  14. Erin says:

    I am so not trendy! I didn’t know about any of those!

  15. Laura D says:

    When I was teaching Teen Living, one of the things we would talk about was Ethnocentrism. I made a power point of a bunch of people from different cultures and their customs– it killed me when we got to the pics of an old man with a huge lip plate and one kid in my class FREAKED out about how gross it was. He started saying some very unkind things, until I compared them to the huge gauges in his ears- he shut up pretty quickly after that. :)

    • Kristen says:

      Laura – that is too funny. My dad once took one of those pictures and hung it from my hospital bed just as I was entering for mouth surgery. Someday I will have to post about that :)

  16. Cyn & Co. says:

    LOL

    Loved this post, I am with you all the way so no, your trends aren’t behind!

    And two other things; seriously UGG boots are the worst invention ever. They aren’t even fashionable, they make you look like you have elephant feet. The worst part is, people think they look NICE. Huh? Also, high five on the caillou comment. My kids love him and it drives me bonkers. Did you know Caillou is french for pebble? I think that’s why the kid has no hair, cuz he’s a pebble.

  17. Peggy G says:

    I’ll take the blame of Caillou, but I can tell you that we have redeemed ourselves with Toopie and Binou. It’s been a favourite at our house for almost 2 years now. No whining. Lots of imaginative play. No forced educational moments. No promotion of rigid gender roles. And each episode is super short.

    • Kristen says:

      Peggy – I love you :) Toopie and Binou haven’t made it down here. We should do a US – Canada exchange. You can send me DVD’s of them and I will send you DVD’s of UmiZoomi. Are you responsible for Fireman Sam too? Because I might punch Norman after Caillou.

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