2012 February

This is a COMPLETE BRIBE… I’m Desperate

February 29, 2012 By Kristen 10 Comments

So here is the skinny. Google Friend Connect is going bye-bye in March. It will not work for this blog anymore Sad smile . The important part – I’m seriously worried about losing my readers who use that all the time!!! What will I do without you?!? So, I’m offering a bribe. And… I’m going to be completely open about it.

I want you to stick around. Please! Stick Around!! You can follow this blog lots of ways. You can have it e-mailed to you. You can subscribe using RSS feed – (you don’t miss anything. Bonus: if you do this for all the blogs you love – you can use it like Google Friend Connect.) You can follow me on Facebook.(alittlesomethingforme) You can follow me on Twitter. (ALSFM) Unless you are my mother. Don’t go to Twitter. I need a bit of space where I can talk about non-mother stuff.

So – here is how you do it. Over to the right – you should see something like this:

Pick a way you like the best. OR – pick multiple ones. Each way you follow me – you get a chance to win something amazing! Ready for it?

A free child’s purse. It is the cutest thing ever. Laura from Petite Nola Bags sent me one for Addison and I LOVE IT. It is super cute and just in time for Easter.

The bag has a cute inner pocket!

Miss Thing... She thinks she's a Model

You will need to be careful of Paparazzi!

Great for any girl on the go

This purse is perfect for any little girl. And, let’s not be sexist – it is blue – so it would be great for boys too! You can call it a “satchel.” If you don’t have a daughter, give it to your niece. You have an easy way to win:

1. Subscribe to RSS feed: 1 Chance

2. Subscribe to Facebook: 1 Chance

3. Subscribe to Twitter: 1 Chance

4: Go On and Get this blog delivered to your e-mail!: 1 Chance

If you are smart – and do all these things – you can have 4 chances to win this amazing purse!

And there you have it. My bribe. Thanks Petite Nola Bags for sponsoring this post. Thanks for giving Addison a bag and donating a bag to a lucky winner. All opinions are my own.

I have one more bit of great news – If you go to Petite Nola Bag’s site – and use CODE: MIXIE – you can order any one of her amazing products for 10% off. Go now! She has great items like child’s play diaper bags – complete with changing pad!

Laura is in the process of merging her ETSY site with her self hosted site. Etsy has great pictures – go there and check out all her amazing things. If you have trouble ordering – go over to her self hosted spot.

Place orders HERE

In the comments section – just tell me all the ways you have signed up to follow. Each way is an enter! WIN WIN!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: In the Online World, Sponsors

It’s Not Cool to be Gay

February 28, 2012 By Kristen 36 Comments

This isn’t the post you think it is. Some people will love this post. Some people will hate it. I’m ok with that.

Some people will disagree with my opinion. I’m ok with that too. Just please remember that we all are entitled to our own opinions. And around here – we respect each other.

Another Letter… this time to former students.

I want them to know I am proud of them.

I watched you grow up. I was there… watching as you turned from boys into men. I was there, watching you navigate the trials of high school. I watched you make friends and lose some along the way. I watched you mature and develop your own opinions of life. I was proud of you then.

Now, as we are more “equal” than not, I watch you in a different light. You are older, but in all fairness, so am I. We are not quite peers, but almost. We’ve kept in touch, and I’ve watched you “grow into yourselves.” This has not always been easy. My former role was to help you through your struggles. Stand up to the bullies. Encourage you to be original. My role now is more passive. A quick note to check in. A “like” on a Facebook status. Offer an encouraging word when we see each other. My feelings are the same. I am proud of you.

It is not easy being gay. You have hurdles I can’t even begin to imagine. Every small step… is celebrated. I watched, in silence, as you have – each in your own right – become open about your sexuality and become activists in your own right. It is not cool to be the kid on the outside. I have watched, in silence, as people have written words that must hurt. I have watched, in silence, as people have shifted their alliances around. I have watched – you stand firm. I am so proud.

It makes no difference to me if you are gay or not. That is not really what this post is about. It matters that you have the ability to stand tall. Even when what you are doing is not the “cool” thing to do. Even when people remind you that you are not yet accepted by all… You. Are. Just. You.

You make me very proud. Those who don’t care what is cool. Those who stand tall. Very Proud…

Thanks Shell… For the chance to write the post of my heart.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: I've Got an Opinion on Everything, Letter

We Are RARE, But no longer Silent or Alone

February 28, 2012 By Kristen 6 Comments

Today is Rare Disease Day. I know… everything has a “day” – huh? But, seriously… sometimes I think of all the rarities out there. Because of our blog and our connections, it seems I meet a different person connected to a rare disease every few weeks. I recently met someone with Dravet Syndrome. I also recently 2 other people with very rare syndromes.

Sometimes I feel so alone. Always thinking… What to do next? How to help my family next? How to help Alexander? How to help the twins? How to keep them together? How to keep us out of the hospital? Do I let the twins go to pre-school? (We have been illness free since they stopped going…) **Sigh** Sometimes it is isolating.

And then there is this DAY. This one day dedicated to Rare Diseases. You know what else? It is on Leap Day… The rare day. How cool is that?

Here are some awesome videos – that I didn’t make. But they are amazing to watch. And inspiring. Sometimes we all need a little inspiration.

I love the one from 2009

This was the National Winner for 2010. It is not as uplifting. It is more “reality.” A sneak peek into the world of someone who cares for a person affected by a rare disease. I love that she is honest. It breaks my heart. It makes me want to look away. But I watch… because she needs me to. She needs to know that her reality is not glossed over. That people understand life is not always easy…

This video is the one for 2012:

Did you make it the entire way through? Some of the struggles we face as families with Rare Diseases are … daunting.

No one really knows what to expect. There are not enough people to have real studies done.
The Doctors. Man – the Doctors…. Each visit is different. Do they have faith in my child? Do they see rare and equate it with death? Or limited quality of life?
No one knows what treatments work. When people have a “common” syndrome – there is a list of treatments “proven” to help.
Usually the list of issues is long. For WHS it is seizures, oral issues, low muscle tone, kidney issues, vision issues, hearing issues, reflux, GI issues, heart issues, urinary issues, spinal issues, cognitive issues, …. the list goes on and on. Most people don’t have any idea.
We just want people to know. We exist. Our children exist. We, as caregivers, exist. Please look at us.

Videos from Rare Disease Day

National Association for Rare Disorders

I don’t want your pity. Our life is good. Just – for people to LOOK at us. Not AWAY from us.

Do you know someone with a rare disease? Want to share their story? I would love to hear it. Did you learn something? I would love to hear it.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Medical Issues, Special Needs

I drugged my child. And other confessions of a vacationing Mom.

February 27, 2012 By Kristen 10 Comments

There are so many things I learned on our vacation. Wait.. Can you call being holed up in a hotel room with 3 children and a dog while you do intensive training vacation? I’m unsure – but I did learn some things. As always, I’ve decided to share with all of you.

1. I am NOT Mother of the Year. I screwed up my kids so many ways on our “adventure!”

I learned that I enjoy lying to my children…a lot. And – Apparently, I’m really good at it.

Example: The question I’m sure you are all dying to know: What did we do about those fish?

I lied. Goo-Goo #1 went to “sleep” the day before we left. Andrew didn’t notice, so we left him sleeping until the day we left. We quietly flushed both Goo-Goo’s and no one remembered a thing… until we arrived home. Then…. Andrew asked what happened to his Goo-Goo. Addison was quick to follow. But, I am quicker! I told them that Goo Goo’s learned the trick~! Jump! We all did a dance in the kitchen. The I told them the sad news, Goo Goos began to jump so well, they jumped out of their bowl and into a lake at our adventure house. The kids were sad they were in a lake, but vow to teach their next fish how to jump only in the bowl. Problem Solver: Mom is a liar.

I learned that pooping problems are really best handled by the professionals.

I’m also certain you are dying to know if the plunger was put into use. As a full disclosure blog – I will tell you yes. I will hang my head in shame as I explain I had to walk out from our hotel (while my mother in law was in the room) and ask my husband where we put the plunger when we moved places. They all started to laugh. And Ray did that belly laugh that you just have to love. *sigh* Imagine me carrying that through the lobby.

Speaking of pooping problems. It appears I’ve passed some down. You know, it is not always easy to be “regular” while you are on vacation. One of my children became so bound up they refused food and water. This child even threw up a bit. I decided to spike their juice with some MiraLax – since we have this for Alexander. The child refused the juice. I then spiked the applesauce with MiraLax – and the child ate it! Great!!! Then the child grabbed the juice and drank all of it. Ummm Great! Because now you have taken enough stool softener for several 90 year old men. To this child, I apologize. Some day, you will feel better and we will laugh at this story. For now, I will just say, “Mommy is very very sorry.”

I learned that getting a puppy is hard work. Cujo I mean Mixie is going to do so many things for our family, but MAN! she is a lot of work.

She listens to us better. Sort of. When we came home we had a whole new place to learn. My house is cleaner. Magically. Because I was tired of saying “No!” every 3 seconds… so I threw all the toys in the basement cleaned up all the toys. And… We don’t give up. We don’t quit. So… things will get better every day.

For those of you wondering… We did actually graduate. Here is Mixie, Alexander – and all the trainers. And the amazing founder of 4 Paws for Ability.

The guy who looks like Simon Cowell? Sort of reminds me of him

I learned that if you can survive in a hotel room with your husband and a dog in training for almost 2 weeks… you can survive anything.

Ray – I love you. Seriously. You drive me bonkers, but I love you to death. Thanks for putting up with me for 2 weeks.

And that is pretty much our vacation in a nutshell. I’m off to train our nurse how to handle Mixie. Pray for us all!

***************************

Oh! And long overdue!!! The random commenter winner of a Meatloaf and Mac and Cheese Dinner from Wildtree to you with Erin is Charlie! Don’t forget to Check out all her great products and use CODE MIXIE for 10% off any products!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me, Does this dog come with an owner's manual?

Is it really a sacrifice if you do it for LOVE?

February 26, 2012 By Kristen 28 Comments

Tomorrow – I will write about our time away. I promise! But – today, I’m going to write a post prompted by an intriguing e-mail.

The sacrifices we make.

I know many people have read our posts while we were at 4 paws and questioned if we made the right decision.

I’m not going to lie. The training was intense and we do have hurdles to overcome. We must continue to foster the bond between Alexander and Mixie – while not hurting Andrew and Addison. And maintaining order with a puppy. A puppy!!! What were we thinking?!?!I

We were thinking this: If Alexander seizes for hours, at his size, and we miss it – he will probably not survive. His deletion is large. In my heart, I believe this contributes to his uncontrollable seizures. (I have no scientific evidence to back this up – only a gut instinct.) Either way… 4, 5, 6 hour seizures – WITH MEDICINE – leaves you to ask the hard question: What would happen if he started seizing and didn’t get medicine. We don’t want to be a statistic.

Everyone has priorities.

- Some people live in a big house. I love going in those houses…. They have space for people to gather, socialize, nothing looks cluttered… bedrooms are bigger than our family living space. *sigh* Could we have those things? Possibly

- Some people spoil their children. They go to Disney and take multiple vacations and have the newest and coolest toys. I don’t say this with malice… What toys children have is none of my business and I don’t care. My kids get things from second hand stores and yard sales. Craig’s list is my best friend.

- Some people buy “adult toys.” They get new electronics and gadgets. They have big screen TV’s, new computers, the coolest new phones, etc. Some people get new cars every few years. We drive a 2002 Nissan Sentra and a Dodge Grand Caravan. Not exactly the coolest cars ever.

- Some people buy new clothes, get their hair done, nails done, eyebrows waxed, etc. on a regular basis. I do not own a pair of pants without holes in them. Truth. I usually end up with something close to a uni-brow before I go in to get them waxed (painfully when you have more hair to wax than leave behind.) **Sigh – I don’t shop the “amazing deals” at Kohl’s, because they are still more money than I want to spend.

- Some people have passions of their heart. I know several families who feel convicted to adopt children who need a home. They sacrifice in order to pursue that dream. I know others who have other passions. I own a pottery wheel (from my former life) that sits collecting dust. I used to love to mold things with clay.

- I just quit my job. We gave up 1/2 our income. I honestly don’t know if we can pay our bills on 1/2 the income, but we are going to try our darndest. Think of all the things we could provide for our children with 2 incomes. My presence at home is worth more than that.

We all make sacrifices. I could continue to work… and we could provide more for our children – our family. I could have clothes without holes. We could take more vacations. We could drive a car with less than 100,000 miles on it. (Ok. The van is just under 100,000) – but you get the drift.

We could have NOT gone to Ohio to get Mixie. I would have more time to blog and less time to “train” a dog. I wouldn’t have the worries about bonding with the twins versus Alexander. I wouldn’t have had to do an emergency child/puppy proof my house first thing this morning at super lightening speed.

Priorities. The life of my children. The life of my son. It is worth it to us. You may not understand it. I don’t expect you to. Until you’ve raced to the nearest hospital following a medical helicopter with your son in it, I don’t really expect you to get it. Until you’ve held his hand and prayed for him to “break” out of it, I don’t expect you to totally get it.

We are all parents here – struggling to do the best we can.

Priorities. The happiness of my children. All of my children. It is worth it to us. There are things we do around here. We buy fish and pretend they will learn tricks like Mixie. We take them with us to stay in a small hotel room … because there are too many times they are left out of things. I don’t quite expect people to understand. Unless they’ve repeatedly watched the faces fall when so many things seem to be “for their brother,” how can people really get it?

Will my kids realize the sacrifices we’ve made for their health and happiness? Part of me hopes so. A bigger part of me hopes not. Because they aren’t really sacrifices. They are a re-arrangement of priorities. I don’t know that you can call these things sacrifices when they are done for LOVE.

All parents do it. Find the trade off between priorities. I don’t question other parent’s priorities. Please don’t question ours. I feel, now that we have traveled down this journey of blogging – we have opened up ourselves to be judged. However – in the same respect, I blog honestly because life isn’t always easy. Why would I tell families that getting a service dog is as easy as 1-2-3? Why would I gloss over some of our struggles to paint a picture that isn’t … us? What is the point of blogging? To let others know they are not alone?

That doesn’t mean we regret our decision. The health and happiness of my children. Priorities. Sacrifices made from love…. that mean – they really aren’t sacrifices, more like trading. And I would trade the world to have 3 children live to adulthood and be filled with love. So – there you have it.

What do you “trade” for your family? Do you think they are sacrifices?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Battling the Demons Within, I've Got an Opinion on Everything, Our Happy Place, Parenting

When Online wasn’t cool

February 22, 2012 By Kristen 34 Comments

Now, everyone is online. (Everyone but Ray… an whole other post). My husband’s grandpa is on Facebook. People use twitter, Facebook, find blogs… connect. I have these great bloggy “friends” that I share my heart and soul with every few days. But, if they walked past me on the street – I might not recognize them. This is the world we live in.

Four years ago, it was not like this. It seems like we have lived in this “internet friendship” world forever, but I know that is not the case. Because – I remember explaining my internet friendships – when it wasn’t cool.

4 years ago (almost to the day now) – I found our I was pregnant. And… shortly after – with twins. Although I was excited, I was SO scared. There was no twitter that I could just put in “twins” and find people. I didn’t read blogs. I used Facebook, but only with people I knew in real life. I had NO online friends. None of my friend had online friends. No one I really knew had online friends. It wasn’t really cool.

**Disclaimer – If you’ve had online friends for 5 years or more – no offense intended.**- I’m talking late 2007 / early 2008. And we live in the sticks… so it takes people longer to accept things where we live. I just remember trying to explain to people how I was sharing my secrets with “friends” I never met…

I remember coming home and doing a Google search for twins. I came up with a lot of Baseball stuff. I searched Twin Support…. and I found this amazing site. Twins Magazine – I thank you. For introducing me to some of my best “forever” friends.

I “met” these girls. All pregnant with twins – just like me. I remember the day I lost my ankles. My knee just suddenly became attached to my foot with a tree trunk. I came home – logged onto the message board, and discovered my “friend” Joanna had lost hers too. So had Marsi, and all of the others. Whew… I was not alone!!! I remember when I had to wear my bedroom slippers to school because I could not get a pair of shoes on my feet and one of my besties in real life talked about how she wore high heels through her entire pregnancy. I logged onto the message board and realized that we all had outgrown our shoes. Whew! I was not alone!!! We celebrated the births of our children together. We struggled through the first few months together. We bonded. We shared. They know more about my family than some of my family members. They were my rock.

I remember trying to explain this group of sisters to my In Real Life family and friends. They all looked at me like I’d drooped off the deep end. Now, life is different. People accept that you can form friendships with others online. You can make friends and share the secrets of your heart – but at that time I was considered a bit freakish among my friends.

Thank you Twins Magazine. I don’t know how I would have survived without those girls. I have met some of them…slowly, but surely. One lives only an hour away – and she is amazing. She stayed with me on Mother’s day when I had Alexander. (What mother leaves their own children to come be with a friend?? A true friend.) One set up our entire conference to Utah after we found out about Alexander’s diagnosis. One offered her home and transportation for me to attend my first Blogger conference. Again… these are significant events in my life. My twin Moms have been a part of each of them.

Today was no exception. One of my twin sisters of the heart drove down here to meet up tonight. I can’t even describe what it is like to finally meet someone who knows all your secrets but has never seen your face. I think it was probably weird for her husband, because I could have probably told him his life story. And she could have talked to Ray about basically anything in the last 4 years of our lives. It was magical. Thank you internet. Thank you world for catching up. For realizing that friendships can transcend physical proximity. That friendships can be more than physical time spent together. For giving me my twin mom anchors. When I am lost – they always tend to ground me.

I had Online Friends – When Online Friends Weren’t Cool. Here are some pictures of our families meeting the first time:

Her son is so cute – he should be on a Juice Commercial. He reminds me of the kid on Jerry McGuire

No lie… Addison has a new best friend. They were inseparable. They even said, “I love you” to each other. Of course – Alexander loved it all…

Did I mention there was a train that drove around the mall? Extreme coolness..

Time for the Family Photos:

Good… this is the best one.

We are losing them. Notice Marsi is parenting while I continue to smile at the camera.. Yeah- parent of the year

And gone! Some are picking things. Some are running off. Some are just plain miserable. Again – I’m oblivious.

I am still cautious. Some online personality could really be a 60 year old man with bad intentions. But, I am so thankful that I have allowed the possibility to exist – that the internet was meant to bring people together. Because… the internet has brought me so many amazing relationships. Thank you.

Once again… Shell – I love to Pour My Heart Out.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: blessings, Our Happy Place, Twins

It’s So Hard to Explain: The Talk

February 20, 2012 By Kristen 15 Comments

I’m writing this for everyone who helped us to get here. Everyone who has supported us, everyone who has loved us, everyone who has prayed for us… and everyone who gave us even a dollar toward this trip. (And sometimes a hug is worth a thousand dollars..) We were told we could lie, but I’m not good at that sort of thing. I’ve always been terrible at keeping secrets, and I’ve found that lies have a way of coming back to haunt you in the end.

All has not been well here. This has been one of the most brutal times our family has ever experienced, and yesterday – there was a lengthy discussion of us leaving Ohio without a dog.

I will go ahead and let those words sink in.

We went to all these hoops. Through all this… to possibly walk away without Mixie. I’m writing this post so you all can understand my silence these last few days. Others are posting constantly about how amazing everything is… and – I have struggled.

Twins getting their pet fish

For those of you not in the throws of parenting toddlers, remember the “terrible two’s?” Do you remember that people call them the terrible twos because they have no words to describe the horrible behavior of three year olds? Now imagine that in double… that is life with 3 year old twins. And my twins are relatively well behaved, but I must be “on them” all the time. I give almost constant corrections or praise to help them know what behavior is acceptable or not.

Add to that the constant supervision of Alexander. What he eats, drinks, does… etc. In case you haven’t noticed… his needs are pretty extensive.

Enter Mixie. This amazing service dog. Who is still a puppy. Mixie is not quite a year old. Placing them early is part of the bonding process and we are to continue the training. Mixie is supposed to leave all distractions alone. She is supposed to ignore all toys on the ground. Yet she is also trained to pick up toys that are dropped for Alexander. Not only that – but my primary “duty” when we are all home is caregiver of the twins. Alexander’s nurse is to tend to his “needs,” and I am the one who is supposed to watch Andrew and Addison. So – somehow, I am to “catch” Mixie every time she does something she is not supposed to – to help finalize her training, take care of the twins, keep the twins from bonding with Mixie, and make sure Alexander does bond with Mixie.

I’ve cried several times. – OH…. and did I mention that Mixie didn’t listen to me for CRAP?

Turns out – our “familial” roles have been pretty established. When Ray and I are parenting together – I do more of the … “mental” work. I calculate Alexander’s food, I feed Alexander, I do a lot of the discipline with the twins, etc. Ray takes care of things around the house and some of the more fun activities with the kids. He has always taken care of the dogs. In our natural routine, I was caring for the kids and he was taking care of Mixie, so she had no respect or bond with me.

Ugh. When your trainer says, “You seem unhappy. We have other options… You could be placed with another dog; we could allow Mixie to become a little more mature…” it really hits home. Truth: I was unhappy. I had no idea how I was going to accomplish all these things. I felt completely overwhelmed and alone. In then end, when Ray goes back to work – If I screw up Mixie’s training, I will have to take ownership of that. That is a lot of pressure. (And – for those of you who have never met Ray… he’s sort of a “results” oriented guy.)

So, where did we go from there? There have been a lot of changes going on.

1. I am awesome. I’m not afraid to say it. (just needed a little reminding.) I carried, birthed, nursed, and raised twins. I rock. I’m dealing with a child with special needs. I rock even more. And if you tell me I can’t – I will rock even more just to prove you wrong.

2. We switched things up. I have not fed Alexander in 2 days. Ray has done it. I think it has been a bit of an eye opening experience for us both. I have bonded with Mixie. Her and I had a little sit down. You see, I’ve told off more people than I can count – one dog will not break me. There is only one rooster in this hen house – And that would be ME.

3. Ray and I have both given me a little slack. Mistakes happen. If she eats a toy, it is not the end of the world… she is still a puppy. We will all learn together.

**Alexander needs this dog. Our family needs this dog. There is no problem we can’t face as a family. We are too strong. Other people do it. Dare me to fail… because then I won’t. **

So, there – you are caught up with our Mixie training. Things have been so much better the last few days. Mixie is listening better. The toys are less of a distraction. We are all handling things better. Thank you for all the prayers and kind words. I will leave you with a funny video: The twins teaching their fish tricks.

Don’t laugh… Andrew and Addison have as much determination as I do. We might all end up on the Today Show!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Battling the Demons Within, Sweet Child of Mine

Dear Andrew and Addison, I’m so Sorry…

February 18, 2012 By Kristen 50 Comments

Please know that I cried. I cried before I told you and after. It broke my heart to break yours. I’m so sorry. I’m just trying to do the best that I can. If you only ever read one post from this blog, right now – I would beg it to be this one.

Since your brother’s birth, there has been only ONE bond I have protected so fiercely … that I would tell off a stranger if they threatened it. That was the bond between the three of you. We have purposefully tried to minimize Alexander’s limitations and differences in your eyes… So that you would just accept our life – the way it was.

Usually, I’m ok; but right now I HATE that we are different.

We have to manufacture a bond. A bond between Mixie and Alexander. This is the only way the service dog can be a service dog to Alexander. The primary bond must be Mixie to Alexander. Mixie cannot bond with you.

The problem is, at this very moment, Alexander is not doing a whole lot. Alexander cannot play fetch with Mixie, run with Mixie, pet Mixie, feed Mixie, or even give Mixie treats. In Mixie’s eyes – Alexander is pretty boring. You, on the other hand… are not. You run, jump, could play fetch, and can feed Mixie. You can pet Mixie, purposefully.

Today, We told you that you would not be allowed to play with, pet, or feed Mixie treats. It broke my heart. When you asked, “Why not?” It broke my heart even further to explain how “different" your brother is… and why Mixie has to focus on being a ‘helper’ dog for Alexander.

I’m so sorry. I know we are going to Wal-mart tonight to buy you fish. And we keep asking the people from 4 Paws what we can do – they even discourage us from getting another dog for at least a year. (The two dogs could accidentally bond together.) Mommy and Daddy are actively trying to bond Mixie to Alexander, by petting her when Alexander is near, only allowing her on the bed when Alexander is near, and making sure Alexander “helps” to give Mixie her food. But – it is going to take time until Mixie believes Alexander is the coolest kid in the room. – So we can’t allow you to be “cool” to her.

I’m so sorry. I love you guys so much. I never meant to break your heart. I never meant to bring this amazing toy into our house – that is once again… Only for Alexander. I’m terrified I’m going to drive a wedge between the 3 of you.

Please don’t let that happen. Please be thankful for all the blessings you have. Please understand, we are only trying to do what is best for our family… and it is so hard.

We love you. Someone – Please – Remind me that we are doing the right thing here…

Filed Under: Uncategorized

It’s All Relative

February 17, 2012 By Kristen 3 Comments

Things I’ve learned since getting Mixie:

Apparently my inability to parent transcends species.
We will not be having anymore children anytime soon… we just had one.
I can now blame my lack of matching socks on Mixie, who loves them.
I LOVE 4 Paws for Ability – they are so patient with us. (And we have a ton of questions.)
I know I’ve had grand plans before,(HERE and HERE) but I think I would like to open a 4 Paws for Ability in PA (Don’t tell Ray – I’m pretty sure this will be filed under – “She’s lost her marbles.”)
Just call me “Dog Whisperer.”
But first…. teach me how to get anyone in our household to listen to me. And then I’ll do it.

Back to things I’ve learned:

Living in a 12X12 hotel room for 2 weeks is trying on anyone’s nerves.
But it is awesome to not have to boil the water before you drink it – (At our old place)
It is also awesome to be able to control your own heat. – (The old place went to 50 something degrees at night)
And… the benefits of no water from the toilet or shower on your floor – Awesome!
So, we are all loving our little cozy living arrangements. And if we don’t all make it out of here alive (By all – I mean, Raymond) – just remember, I loved him until he drove me insane in a 12X12 room. Kidding… sort of

Training is intense. It is 24/7 parenting… Along with our normal 24/7 parenting. But we are so grateful to be here… It is all relative..

Besides – Eventually, someone has to learn to listen to me, right?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Guest Post: I’m Living Proof that God has a Sense of Humor

February 16, 2012 By Kristen 51 Comments

As most of you know – we are in training for our service dog. After our debacle with our “housing incident” – things only went down hill from there. The final straw was when the shower (or toilet… I like to believe it was shower) began leaking into the living room. We packed up our things in between training and have moved into 2 hotel rooms. All is well – but I feel like a HERO for lining up a guest post for today. My first guest post:

Helene is my Hero. Seriously. She has 2 (I repeat – 2) sets of twins. When there is a day that I wonder what the heck just happened to me? – I wonder over to her blog… and laugh. Because that is what she makes me do – laugh. Or sometimes think. Or sometimes just remember what is important. She’s good like that. So, while we are doing this crazy gig in Ohio, I decided I wanted my first “guest post.” She was my first thought… Because I knew she would be Perfect. And she is. Enjoy. Then make sure you go visit her website I’m Living Proof that God has a Sense of Humor and give her some love. By the way – her tag line – About better to have your hands full than empty and a broken heart? Love. It.

When Kristen asked me if I wanted to do a guest post, I jumped at the opportunity. Because I love her. No, seriously. I have a blog crush on her. She’s the Jenny to my Forrest. The Angelina to my Brad. Except I’m not a man. And we’re not celebrities. Nevertheless, you get the point. I hope. I completely admire Kristen’s pure honesty and the way she expresses her emotions. She has a funny side, a serious side, a sentimental side (shhhh, don’t let her kids know that) and, best of all, she’s just an all around good-natured person. My dear Kristen has recently chosen to be a SAHM so I thought I’d write a SAHM’s Survival Guide, in her honor. Or in memory of her former life. Whichever.

The SAHM’s Survival Guide

1) The transition from being a work-outside-the home mom to a stay-at-home mom is monumental. And it sucks…big time. Let’s just put that out there right now. Now, you have bosses who are whiny, demanding, ungrateful and smelly. Well, maybe you were dealing with that before even in the working world. Your time is no longer your own. There will be no lunch breaks, certainly no bathroom breaks and no sleeping on the job. There’s no more gossiping around the water cooler, unless of course, there’s a huge scandal on Sesame Street when Oscar decides to beat the shit out of Elmo because he has a girlie voice. Your former colleagues are continuing to go out to lunch together and have adult conversations, while you are left at home with “fruit salad, yummy, yummy” running through your head. It’s a 24/7 job, people. Believe that…and toughen up.

2) Rome wasn’t built in a day, therefore, you should not be expected to clean your house every single day. For crying out loud, even God rested on the 7th day. For real. Don’t kill yourself with unrealistic expectations. And just accept the fact that your house will always be a chaotic mess while there are still rugrats living under your roof. If your husband gets pissy because there’s dust on the window blinds, shove the feather duster in his hand (as opposed to up his ass) and yell at him, “Dude, I kept the kids alive ALL. DAY. LONG. Do you even know how challenging that is?!”

3) Don’t be surprised if you begin to chase total strangers down just to enjoy an adult conversation. At first, you might savor the ability to stay home for hours, without having to deal with traffic or rude strangers who want to touch your new baby. But at some point, you will crave human interaction. Aside from what the kids can provide, of course. You won’t realize it, though, until you’re on the phone with a customer service rep who had the unfortunate luck of answering her line at the wrong time. When she asks how your day is going, she’s sure to get an earful. “So nice of you to ask. I’m actually having a super crappy day, yo. The kids refuse to get dressed, there’s flour all over the kitchen when I got a wild hare up my ass to try to bake some cookies, my house smells like a goddamn zoo and I think my husband is lying to me about what time he really has to go into the office every day….” Do yourself a favor and make some Mommy friends. Join Meetup.com to find a playgroup in your area, befriend a lonely looking mom at the playground, chase complete strangers down when you’re taking the kids for a walk. Who cares how you do it…just do it. You’ll be glad you did.

4) Expect others to not have a full understanding that you do, in fact, work full-time. You will constantly get asked this dreaded question, “So you don’t work? You just stay home?” Before bitch-slapping the fool who says this to you, take a deep breath. Think of a happy place. And then reply, “I do work. At home. Taking care of my kids. All day long. What do you do, besides making an ass out of yourself on a consistent basis?”

5) Develop coping strategies for stress. Practice deep breathing, turn yourself into a human pretzel doing yoga, eat marshmallow fluff from a jar with your fingers, listen to happy music, pray to Buddha. Pick your poison, people. Remember when you were working and a co-worker would piss you off…you could close the door to your office and curse them out behind their back. Well, now you don’t have that luxury. The kids are in your face every minute of the day. That’s at least 14 hours a day…or 840 minutes to be exact. So find something that makes you smile and helps you release some stress. When all else fails, drink wine directly from the bottle. Other moms do it. You can too. Besides, it’s one less glass you have to wash.

6) You are more creative than you give yourself credit for.

<<————- Enough said.

7) Don’t beat yourself up for wearing your hair in a ponytail everyday, for forgetting to put on make-up, wearing the same pair of pants for the 3rd day in a row and not taking a shower for 4 days straight.

What you looked like BEFORE staying home with your kids

What you look like NOW

There’s no need to apologize for looking like you just got run over by a cement truck. Being a stay-at-home mom is not glamorous. Remember, June Cleaver was a fictional character, people. The only one expecting perfection is YOU. So lower the bar a little and don’t be so hard on yourself. If you really need a shower, see #6. That kid ain’t going nowhere while you lose yourself in some temporary serenity.

8) If you find yourself feeling depressed and questioning your sanity (and trust me, you will), get outside if you can. Take the kids for a walk, a bike ride, whatever. Just get outdoors and enjoy some fresh air and/or the sunshine. It’ll do you a world of good. If you can’t do that, get online and reach out to someone. That’s the beauty of the blogosphere, Twitter, Facebook…there’s always someone out there who’s “been there, done that” and can be a huge source of comfort and encouragement. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child.

9) Never, ever compare yourself to other moms. It’s a cardinal sin, my friends. Just because Hallie Happy Homemaker bakes homemade cookies for her kid’s class, volunteers 3 days a week, runs the PTA, and craps unicorns and sparkly rainbows does not make her a perfect parent. You can bet your sweet ass that she yells at her kids, nags her husband and looks like holy hell by the time 6:00 pm rolls around. No one is a perfect parent. And that’s the God’s honest truth. We all do the best we can by following our hearts. We love our children and want what’s best for them. And, in the end, we hope they can forgive us for the mistakes we’ll undoubtedly make, while we sock away every last penny for their future therapy sessions. Lastly, be good to yourself…cut yourself some slack. You’ll have good days and bad days, you’ll question why you left the corporate world to stay home with your kids, you’ll wonder if going to college was a complete waste of your time…you will have days where you may feel incompetent, inadequate, useless and helpless. But…and this is HUGE….don’t ever forget that you are loved, needed and appreciated. Even if the little demon spawn don’t know how to show those emotions, other than yelling, “Mommy, can you wipe my butt…again?”. Someday, they will understand the sacrifices you have made for them.

And they will thank you.

Helene Gaither I’m Living Proof That God Has a Sense of Humor

I’m a contributing author in the newly released book, From the Heart: A Collection of Stories and Poems from the Front Lines of Parenting. Check out the book by visiting http://writeforcharity.wordpress.com/the-book/.