It’s Not Cool to be Gay

This isn’t the post you think it is.  Some people will love this post. Some people will hate it. I’m ok with that.


Some people will disagree with my opinion. I’m ok with that too. Just please remember that we all are entitled to our own opinions. And around here – we respect each other.


Another Letter… this time to former students.

I want them to know I am proud of them.


I watched you grow up.  I was there… watching as you turned from boys into men.  I was there, watching you navigate the trials of high school.  I watched you make friends and lose some along the way.  I watched you mature and develop your own opinions of life.  I was proud of you then.


Now, as we are more “equal” than not, I watch you in a different light.  You are older, but in all fairness, so am I.  We are not quite peers, but almost.  We’ve kept in touch, and I’ve watched you “grow into yourselves.”  This has not always been easy.  My former role was to help you through your struggles.  Stand up to the bullies.  Encourage you to be original.  My role now is more passive.  A quick note to check in.  A “like” on a Facebook status. Offer an encouraging word when we see each other.  My feelings are the same.  I am proud of you.


imageIt is not easy being gay.  You have hurdles I can’t even begin to imagine.  Every small step… is celebrated.  I watched, in silence, as you have – each in your own right – become open about your sexuality and become activists in your own right.  It is not cool to be the kid on the outside.  I have watched, in silence, as people have written words that must hurt.  I have watched, in silence, as people have shifted their alliances around. I have watched – you stand firm.  I am so proud.


It makes no difference to me if you are gay or not.  That is not really what this post is about.  It matters that you have the ability to stand tall.  Even when what you are doing is not the “cool” thing to do.  Even when people remind you that you are not yet accepted by all… You. Are. Just. You.


You make me very proud.  Those who don’t care what is cool.  Those who stand tall.  Very Proud…

Thanks Shell… For the chance to write the post of my heart.



  1. Pish Posh says:

    Ahh Kristen this is nice. I am meeting with the gay students at my school tomorrow to help them join a gay-straight student alliance. Thank you for being you and writing this :)

    • Kristen says:

      That is awesome. How did your meeting go?

      • Pish Posh says:

        It really irritated me because other faculty showed up to “support” the students but it was clear they had agendas for getting people involved in the city we live in and that was not appropriate. They dominated the conversation too.

        So next week I am going to make sure to make it clear this is for the students by the students and about the students. Thanks for asking!

        • Arnebya says:

          Pish Posh, that sounds great. I love to hear when students are given the opportunity to express themselves (among themselves!). I think it lessens the judgment.

  2. Jessica says:

    This? This is beautiful

  3. Love is acceptance; accepting a person for who they REALLY are. You have a heart that is fully of love. Bless you. <3

    • Kristen says:

      Thanks so much. I do really love those kids. Really… And some of them have had a tough time adjusting to life – in the maturing process.

  4. Life As Wife says:

    I know it’s a great feeling to see young people you’ve directly had an affect on grow and blossom.

    Good for you for giving them the support they so desperately need!

  5. it is difficult to be on the outside and rarely is it “cool” – at least not while one is going through it. this is really a lovely post to share.

    • Kristen says:

      Thanks. It is so difficult. So few kids come out in high school – when we are around to give them support. And… then later – to watch – in “not quite the same capacity” – I just want them to know I’m proud that they stand tall.

  6. Beautiful post. I wish all teachers cared about their students, past and present, the way I hear how much you care about yours.

  7. Kristen says:

    Can’t say it enough…I would love if you could teach my daughters. You definitely fell into teaching for a reason, Kristen. I know you are incredibly smart but the thing that stands out to me the most about you is that your heart is even bigger than your brain. I love this post!! xo, The other Kristen

    • Kristen says:

      Kristen – thanks, girl. you are always such a supporter… It is like I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. So – you rock. As always.

  8. Adrienne says:

    They are blessed to have your support. <3

  9. I have to admit, from the title of this post, I was expecting a totally different post. I guess we all need reminders to learn the whole story before passing judgement, huh?

    This post is beautiful. Honest, and beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. :)

    • Kristen says:

      Ha! That is sort of funny. I was wondering what people would think by the title. Thanks for checking it out. And… thanks for the support!

  10. Susi says:

    Amazing. Those kids were/are lucky to have you in their lives. It amazes me that in this day and age we can still have so much discrimination. It’s great that they are standing tall. :)

    • Kristen says:

      Thanks Susi! I have been lucky to know them. I wrote specifically to boys.. I guess Men that I now know – because I have watched a few of them struggle so much.

  11. Your students are super lucky ones. Beautiful post!!!!

  12. Manda says:

    This is EXACTLY the post I thought it would be, because it is EXACTLY the person you are. love ya!

  13. Shell says:

    You must be so proud of them- able to stand up for themselves and be who they are.

    • Kristen says:

      Yeah, Shell. I am proud of them. I **think** it is harder for my male students than it is even for my female students. That is why I addressed it to them. They have to stand up to so much – society, parents, friends… I’m proud of them.

  14. Tiffany says:

    I was expecting a different kind of post-based on your title. They are lucky to have you in their corner.

    • Kristen says:

      Thanks. I think sometimes students think that when they leave the classroom/school – they leave our hearts. They don’t.

  15. Well spoken. Extremely well spoken. The love and support in your words will make the difference to one of those boys.

  16. I love this. It’s so true. And so wonderful you are there for them.

  17. Your students are really lucky to have you. It is also my hope that each of my children and students learn to stand tall for themselves and in support of one another.

  18. Seeing this post of yours (among everything else) made me smile. Your students are very lucky. Some of the teachers I had as I was growing up were openly against homosexuality. They did not make life any easier for us ‘gay’ kids. While they did try to keep others from bullying, you could always see the disgust on their faces whenever an openly gay kid would approach them. You’re absolutely wonderful.

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