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I’m writing this for everyone who helped us to get here. Everyone who has supported us, everyone who has loved us, everyone who has prayed for us… and everyone who gave us even a dollar toward this trip. (And sometimes a hug is worth a thousand dollars..) We were told we could lie, but I’m not good at that sort of thing. I’ve always been terrible at keeping secrets, and I’ve found that lies have a way of coming back to haunt you in the end.
All has not been well here. This has been one of the most brutal times our family has ever experienced, and yesterday – there was a lengthy discussion of us leaving Ohio without a dog.
I will go ahead and let those words sink in.
We went to all these hoops. Through all this… to possibly walk away without Mixie. I’m writing this post so you all can understand my silence these last few days. Others are posting constantly about how amazing everything is… and – I have struggled.
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Twins getting their pet fish
For those of you not in the throws of parenting toddlers, remember the “terrible two’s?” Do you remember that people call them the terrible twos because they have no words to describe the horrible behavior of three year olds? Now imagine that in double… that is life with 3 year old twins. And my twins are relatively well behaved, but I must be “on them” all the time. I give almost constant corrections or praise to help them know what behavior is acceptable or not.
Add to that the constant supervision of Alexander. What he eats, drinks, does… etc. In case you haven’t noticed… his needs are pretty extensive.
Enter Mixie. This amazing service dog. Who is still a puppy. Mixie is not quite a year old. Placing them early is part of the bonding process and we are to continue the training. Mixie is supposed to leave all distractions alone. She is supposed to ignore all toys on the ground. Yet she is also trained to pick up toys that are dropped for Alexander. Not only that – but my primary “duty” when we are all home is caregiver of the twins. Alexander’s nurse is to tend to his “needs,” and I am the one who is supposed to watch Andrew and Addison. So – somehow, I am to “catch” Mixie every time she does something she is not supposed to – to help finalize her training, take care of the twins, keep the twins from bonding with Mixie, and make sure Alexander does bond with Mixie.
I’ve cried several times. – OH…. and did I mention that Mixie didn’t listen to me for CRAP?
Turns out – our “familial” roles have been pretty established. When Ray and I are parenting together – I do more of the … “mental” work. I calculate Alexander’s food, I feed Alexander, I do a lot of the discipline with the twins, etc. Ray takes care of things around the house and some of the more fun activities with the kids. He has always taken care of the dogs. In our natural routine, I was caring for the kids and he was taking care of Mixie, so she had no respect or bond with me.
Ugh. When your trainer says, “You seem unhappy. We have other options… You could be placed with another dog; we could allow Mixie to become a little more mature…” it really hits home. Truth: I was unhappy. I had no idea how I was going to accomplish all these things. I felt completely overwhelmed and alone. In then end, when Ray goes back to work – If I screw up Mixie’s training, I will have to take ownership of that. That is a lot of pressure. (And – for those of you who have never met Ray… he’s sort of a “results” oriented guy.)
So, where did we go from there? There have been a lot of changes going on.
1. I am awesome. I’m not afraid to say it. (just needed a little reminding.) I carried, birthed, nursed, and raised twins. I rock. I’m dealing with a child with special needs. I rock even more. And if you tell me I can’t – I will rock even more just to prove you wrong.
2. We switched things up. I have not fed Alexander in 2 days. Ray has done it. I think it has been a bit of an eye opening experience for us both. I have bonded with Mixie. Her and I had a little sit down. You see, I’ve told off more people than I can count – one dog will not break me. There is only one rooster in this hen house – And that would be ME.
3. Ray and I have both given me a little slack. Mistakes happen. If she eats a toy, it is not the end of the world… she is still a puppy. We will all learn together.
**Alexander needs this dog. Our family needs this dog. There is no problem we can’t face as a family. We are too strong. Other people do it. Dare me to fail… because then I won’t. **
So, there – you are caught up with our Mixie training. Things have been so much better the last few days. Mixie is listening better. The toys are less of a distraction. We are all handling things better. Thank you for all the prayers and kind words. I will leave you with a funny video: The twins teaching their fish tricks.
Don’t laugh… Andrew and Addison have as much determination as I do. We might all end up on the Today Show!
I am a former teacher, turned SAHM. I have 3 children. The twins, Andrew and Addison, turned 3 years old in October. I also have a 1 year old baby who was born with a very rare chromosomal disorder - Wolf Hirschhorn Syndrome. The good, the bad, the ugly.. all here. Because this blog keeps me from drinking.
It’s amazing what goes on around your house. I’m not quite sure how I found your blog, but I’m glad I did. The Crazies are 3.5 right now and that ALONE makes me nuts. It sounds like the changes you’re making around your house are positive and will get you where you need to be eventually…it sucks being patient, doesn’t it?
Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 recently posted..February’s photo-a-day (I am so freaking behind…)
Hang in there. I’m sorry you are going through so much. But it looks like things are getting better. FYI – always enjoy looking at your pictures! Something else you are good at!
You are awesome. And determined. I’m sorry to hear how difficult this training process has been, but I am confident that you’ll make it work. Because you’re the kind of person who will do whatever it takes. I’d still love to get together… We could come to Xenia, if that makes things easier. But if things are too busy, I TOTALLY understand. We’ll meet up some other time. I don’t want to be one more thing you’re trying to squeeze into an already stressful time.
I don’t think for one minute that you were blessed with the opportunity only to have it snatched away. Mixie will be going home with your family. We’ve all prayed long and hard about this ya know! HE’s listening….. God is awesome that way. Oh and so are you!
Love you!
jen recently posted..from my kitchen- Irish Soda Bread
You are so strong. I am having a rough time of things lately, and I came here to gain strength from you.
Oh, and ya, you are pretty awesome!
I love it!!! I love post! I love your attitude! and I love those kiddos with the fish! That is so sweet and totally puts a smile on my face. Your Rock, mama!
Adrienne recently posted..There’s no perfect curriculum!
You ARE awesome! You ARE strong! You have many praying for you. With a combination like that, you cannot fail.
Charlie recently posted..Crazy Cradle Cap
Kristen, you are awesome…so glad you know that!! You really are!
I’m glad you and Ray were able to trade roles for a little while so you could focus on the dog. And I’m hoping as the days pass, things will become less overwhelming and more helpful for you.
The video was too cute! Landon watched it with me and now he wants a pet fish. And not just any pet fish. He wants a pet fish who will jump. So yeah…thanks for that, my friend. LOL
Helene recently posted..Bread machine fail #6
It sounds rough.
But, honest.
Really, I’d be surprised if there was no learning curve with this. Hang in there!
Shell recently posted..My Erie Drive Picks
Training it very overwhelming. Magpie wouldn’t listen to my husband at all during training. It’s better, but still a work in progress. It is hard to deal with some of the puppy behaviors too. Breaks my heart when I walk into a room and see a doll without a head, I try to get it taken care of ASAP so my little lady doesn’t see it. It is getting better but it is very hard and a huge adjustment. I joked once we got home that I wished I’d had maternity leave to get adjusted to life with the Service dog and two toddlers at home.
Just remember you ARE strong, you are right you can do it. Sometimes the most challenging things are the ones that bring us the most joy. I hope you can look back in years to come and feel that you made the right decision.
Bobbie recently posted..Deeds has a Fairy Godmother
You are so right Mama Hen! You rule that roost!
Life As Wife recently posted..One Is The Loneliest Number
You can do this and you are doing a great job!!!! These words have always encouraged me.
Amory/Irish Twins Momma recently posted..Blogger alikes?
Thatnks for sharing the real story…real ain’t always pretty
Trick fish…Letterman’s going to be all over it!
Melissa recently posted..System Re-boot
1) You ARE amazing. Truly.
2) I love you.
3) Your family is GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS.
4) Your readers are a huge network of support. I am really glad that you reached out like this.
5) AWESOME that you guys switched up responsibilities a bit. That was such a good move. Progress is being made. That is good.
6) Your shoulders are strong and broad. They COULD carry the weight of the world. But you weren’t MEANT to. I am praying. You know that. And I am happy that the trainers sensed that something was off, and that good, workable solutions were found.
*hugs*
Meredith recently posted..Top Ten Things I Love About School Vacation Week!
The first thing a new mother needs to be taught after she births her screaming meanie is this:
IT’ OK TO BE OVERWHELMED.
We’re not so good at teaching moms that. We’re not so good at remembering that ourselves. It’s hard, sometimes, to cut ourselves some slack, to remember that we are nothing more than mere mortals, and that, try as we might, we are not supermoms. Toys will be lost or eaten, children will get sick, dogs will vex us to the brink of insanity, we will say things we regret.
It’s OK.
It’s OK that all of those things happen, because it helps to remember that we are human, that we are valuable and fragile, and it helps us to remember how precious life is. But some days are gonna suck. We’re going to be tired and overwhelmed, and everything we touch is going to shatter and break. And on those days, we need to remember that it’s OK to be overwhelmed. That we’re not disappointing anyone other than ourselves when we can’t go all Clark Kent/Superman on the situation. Some days, we’ll crawl through the trenches and climb our way out on the other side, grabbling at the sides with dirty broken fingernails.
It does make us stronger when we come out of the trench and into the air on the other side. I promise.