Guest Post: “She’s Never Worked A Day in Her Life”

My friend Heather is a soul sister to me.  She is not only raising two sets of twins, but she is also a sociologist… a girl of my heart.  I love her perspective on life – and … in this case: women.  I’m excited to share her thoughts with you – especially in this very charged atmosphere.


Thanks to the recent discussion among politicians, daily citizens, and the American media regarding women, I have had a lot to contemplate about during the quiet moments in my life, which are few and far between for me as a SAHM of 4 children, a private violin teacher, and as a wife of a teacher and professional artist.

Busy. It defines my life. However, my life is not defined by what keeps me busy, but what my beliefs are and how those beliefs eventually intersect with other people and their lives. In fact, I was a person with a belief pattern before I was anything listed above. It is what has helped define my life and laid the path out before me.

So, I heard comments made by Hilary Rosen and I shuddered. I shuddered, not because I agreed with her or disagreed with her, not because I want Obama to win or want Romney to win, not because I like Michelle Obama or like Ann Romney, but simply shuddered because once again, a woman was attacking another woman.


“Guess what?” Rosen said. “His wife has actually never worked a day in her life. She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing.” – Huffington Post


I have heard it time and again. In fact, turn on the news (I have stopped doing so for this reason) and you will hear it. Turn on entertainment news and you will hear it. You don’t even have to turn on the news to hear it…I have heard it in familiar company. She is too fat. She is too skinny. She is too muscular. Her hair is too long, short, blonde, red, black, brown. She dresses like she is a teenager. She dresses like she is an old lady. She goes out without her kids so she must not care about her kids. She never goes out so she must not have a life. She works so much that she can’t have time for her kids. 


She stays at home and does nothing all day.


I have heard from women that are disgusted by Rosen’s comments, but at the same time, have blasted women for working because they clearly don’t care about their children and must have a career because of their need of material gain. I have heard or read disparaging remarks made about stay at home moms. I know what is said. It happens on both sides.


Rosen’s comments don’t reflect on my beliefs any more than a woman talking negatively about a working mom. If you are disgusted by one remark, you should be disgusted by all remarks. If you condemn Rosen for speaking ill about stay at home moms, you should condemn women that slam working women. They are both offensive to me.


At the end of the day, we live in a free society. This negativity can eat away at our lives if we allow it to do so. We, as women, should be standing together. We should be promoting positivity. We should be encouraging moms that want to stay at home and raise their family to do so, encouraging moms that want a career or need to have a career to support their families to do so. We should support each other, even if our beliefs are different.


  1. Susan H says:

    Well said. I’m a SAHM but I applaud my friends who are ‘work-outside-the-home’ moms. It’s all about…choice.

  2. Krista says:

    Well spoken, darling girl! I’m also a SAHM who sometimes envies the “getting out of the house to work” moms. However, I know many a working mom (and dad!!) that would gladly trade places in a heartbeat. Your words remind us that we need to remember our situation is a blessing and our children are a blessing. The grass may not be greener on the other side, and we have no right to judge that side’s lawn in the first place!!

    • Heather K. says:

      The grass is always greener…where you water it! We just always need to remember that everyone has their own battle to fight, their own path to carve. Support each other. It is much more fulfilling to lift someone up instead of tearing them down. :)

  3. Cindy says:

    LOVE the pic!

  4. Heather says:

    This is so well said and an important reminder. Why do women do this to each other?!?! If you’re interested, I also really enjoyed this article regarding Rosen’s remarks.

    • Heather says:

      It just occurred to me that maybe I should point out that I am not the Heather who wrote this piece.
      Heather W.

      • Heather K. says:

        Nice name, Heather W. :) Thanks for commenting. It is something we should be reminded of daily. I have heard enough men bashing women that we shouldn’t fall victim to our own demise. We should support each other.
        Heather K.

  5. I don’t watch the news either… For many reasons that make me angry for how anything and everything has a negative spin on it.

    I loved reading this. And while politicians all are in it to win it, we cannot allow them to pin us women against each other.

    • Heather K says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read it. :)

      Kristen, thank you for sharing your blog for a moment in time with me.

  6. Someone always is trying to create divisiveness between others. If they can divide us, then they can beat us. I am blessed to have the best of both worlds. I am a SAHM during the day. I homeschool. At night, my hubby watches them and I work, waiting tables. We need this to survive and I feel blessed to know that I can contribute to the financial stability of my family. I try to be a Proverbs 31 woman! Check out the response I wrote to Bill Maher’s comment on this topic!

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