Embracing My Reality

Most of you know I went to Bloggy Bootcamp last weekend in Philadelphia.


It was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.- By the way.  And I learned a ton – which was A.W.E.S.O.M.E.


I’ve been struggling with the blog for a few months.  Sometimes I want to write about social issues, sometimes about our family, and sometimes about random things from my heart.


But, on Saturday I was asked “Who do you write your blog for?  Who do you want to read it?”


1. I want my kids to read it and know how life was; not how life was perceived.

2. I want people to read it and get an insight into what life is like raising a child with special needs (and twins.)

3. I want to be a voice for those who can’t speak. Social issues and… Special Needs.


I know what I need to do – I need to embrace the fact that I am a Special Needs Mom and a Special Needs Blogger.


I’m not totally sure how I feel about that.


On one hand, I feel like rain water washing over me.  Enveloping me. Becoming the person – using the voice – I was meant to have.



On the other hand, I worry that it is a pool of quicksand that will suck me in – I might never emerge.





I realized something this weekend.  I tend to shy away from “special needs” blogs. 


So then I needed to spend time thinking about why… why haven’t I embraced this space?


I think I don’t want to be the “Debbie Downer” of the blogging world.

I don’t want to be the place no one wants to come.


I don’t want to lose myself.


I don’t even know that the average reader will notice too much of a change….


I need to still be me:

Wife to Raymond

Mother to 3 kids. Twins, Andrew and Addison. And Alexander… Exceptional Baby.

Teacher turned SAHM- maybe turned Teacher again.



and Special Needs Blogger…


Who do you “write” for?




  1. Denise says:

    What a great self discovery. I need to think about who I blog for. I’ve been focusing on goals and didn’t stop to think about this question.

  2. Natasha says:

    Firstl, you are in my RSS Feed ;)

    Secondly, it is amazing how when you read someone’s blog, it helps you in loads of areas of your life in how deal with things. You shy away from special need blogs, I shy away from infirtility blogs and groups, different things different reasons. I have no idea why I do this, but through reading blogs on maybe even total different things helps me deal with stuff :)

    Keep writing, there will always be some words that you touch the heart with xx

  3. Cindy says:

    As a mother of a child with special needs you can either embrace your new responsibility or you can ignore it and become angry, bitter, and resentful. As parents of children with special needs we can educate people in a respectful, knowledgeable way or we can spout from the mouth about how ‘stupid’ people are for the comments they make and the lack of knowledge they have about ‘x’ diagnosis. Sure, we are allowed to shake our heads and roll our eyes but we must realize that ‘people’ don’t really care about any of our kids and what they are up to and so it is with a ‘special needs’ child as well. I talk about what is going on in my life will ALL of my kids. Some people want to hear about my life and others do not. And that’s okay.

    MANY people want to hear about your life and are inspired, motivated, and educated by your experiences. You are the expert on your son and we who read here regularly are grateful for your candor and honesty. Even if there were no ‘special needs’ all of our children will have challenges and tough spots. So really we are not much different than other people. Some people want to learn, change, and evolve and embrace new experiences, other people well, they are stuck, paralyzed, and likely miserable in their little lives.

    This blog will change, and evolve through all the challenges and joys of your journey. Embrace it. Stand up and be proud of your ability to love your life, NO MATTER WHAT. Because that it was EVERY kid wants from their mama.

  4. Kimberly says:

    I’ve always been reluctant to go to a blog boot camp only because I see party pictures…while I love to party and meet all the women behind their screens I would also love to improve my blog.
    I’m so glad that you learned so much.
    I blog for me.
    I blog for the women who battle postpartum depression.
    I blog for the people who battle mental illness.
    But it’s my voice.

  5. AnnMarie says:

    I want to go to a blogging conference so much and am happy you got to go. I’ll live through you for awhile. :) I just did a post about this very topic. I blog for me. I blog for women that don’t have the words to say how hard this parenting job is. I blog for the women that don’t want to talk about how hard marriage sometimes is. In a world where I can easily get lost in all the stuff I have to deal with, it helps me have a place…a voice.

    You, my friend, can call yourself whatever feels right…know that I will always be reading!

  6. Kristen says:

    So proud of you! You put it all out there and I really think this will only lead you to better places!! xo!!

  7. Cade Leon says:

    Your writing for users has successfully played.You think for us. It’s really a great job. I wish your success.

  8. Sounds like you had some great moments of revelation on which you can now build. I’ve been stepping back from my own blog lately (other writing projects keeping me busy) but I am certain the break will give me the space I need to redefine my voice. I will have to write a similar who am I writing for mission statement. :)

  9. Betty says:


    I don’t find your blog a “Debbie Downer” at all.

    I haven’t been reading your blog very long. But, I have gone back and, read many older post to
    catch up.

    You give us a glimpse of your reality in a very present voice, meaning you own your life.
    I don’t find your life depressing. I find it challenging. I find your words honest and, inspiring.

    Cindy wrote in her comment that people don’t really care………… In what sense?
    Do I care to the point that I will try to search the world over, find Alexander and, offer what ever talents
    I possess in order to relieve your burden? No. That sounds creepy.

    Do I care to the point that I find pleasure in hearing of Alexander’s successes? Do I care to the point that
    I share his story with my family? Do I care to the point that I add Alexander and, your family to my prayer
    list. YES! I do.

  10. This was beautiful. I love the idea of writing so you kids know the truth about the past rather than the glazed over version.

  11. Heather says:

    I think sometimes you write for different people on different days. Sometimes my posts are strictly all about me. Just a brain dump that I need to get out there – regardless of whether anyone else reads it. Sometimes I want to get a story down about one of my children because I know if I don’t I will lose the exactness fo that memory and sometimes it’s because I want to get my word out, my opinions, my views.

    I think you are a special needs blogger, but you are also a mom to two traditionally developing children who have stories to tell. And of course you have your own story. Adjusting to life as a SAHM even when I can hear in your voice how much you loved and were committed to your teaching job.

    And I for one look forward to hearing all your stories.

  12. Kimberly says:

    I just wrote a post on this topic. I love the self discovery that you made. No matter the topic, just stay true to yourself and to your voice. That is what matters.

  13. Arnebya says:

    I’m trying to remember how I found your blog to begin with. I can’t. But I can tell you for sure why I subscribed, why I’m glad whenever I see you in my reader as having written something new. And it ain’t Debbie Downerish. It’s your voice. It’s knowing I will read something thoughtful, thought provoking, genuine, maybe even sensitive to others’ feelings. Your children are gorgeous, you are inspirational, you’re married, you’ve worked outside the home (and continue to do so inside the home as we all know that is work too). There are so many things, Kristen, for which I read you. I’m glad you were able to reflect on what you want to convey, who you’re writing for. You’re also writing for me.

  14. I’m just glad you write.
    That is all.

  15. You could NEVER be the the “Debbie Downer” of the blogging world. Even your serious posts are incredibly inspirational. So there. Embrace it, woman!

  16. This is a tough question. Like most bloggers, I blog for myself so that I can stop my wheels from constantly turning, if only for a moment. Unlike you, I have no obvious niche: no children with special needs, no big adversities I’ve overcome. I feel a bit adrift in the enormous world of parenting bloggers, and I’m trying to figure out if maybe I’d like to be a voice about something besides that.

    Thanks for writing about your own journey; it’s inspiring me to think about what I’m doing here in the blogosphere as well!

    • Kristen says:

      That is awesome! Now that I’ve “claimed a niche” … I have terrible writer’s block!!! AAAKKK!!

  17. Kendra says:

    Wonderful, wonderful blog post. I so wanted to go to the Philly boot camp too. Maybe next year! I love your question about who I blog for. I never really thought of that. When I write, it’s more as a way for me to “exhale” and, just maybe, others that come across what I write can relate to it on some level whether it be something funny, serious, a recipe or a review.

  18. Dawn says:

    Thank you so much for this honesty. I’m a brand new blogger trying to find my voice. You are an inspiration to figure out who I am and who I am writing to. Thank you!


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