I had a weird conversation with a woman the other week. It was about our nurse, and brought out a bunch of things I didn’t realize people made assumptions about. Her words have been on my heart every since. What I wish I would have said then:
I’m tired. A lot. Think about a time when your grandma or spouse or even pet was sick. Even when you “slept,” you didn’t really have a restful sleep. This is pretty much every night around here. On our good nights, when no one wakes up screaming, I still don’t sleep. I hate the bags under my eyes. I hate that I sometimes fall asleep during a cartoon. I hate that sometimes I just can’t fake it anymore. But, there is nothing I can do to stop the worry that works it’s way in. I’m not saying this for pity or sympathy. Just an explanation. If you assume that I’m sleeping because I’m lazy – you are wrong. I’m sleeping because my eyes just won’t stay open any longer.
I’m grateful for our nurse. She is amazing. She works hard. She takes great care of Alexander. She allows me to be a great mom for all 3 of my kids. She allows me to rest when the twins rest. Or eat a meal… Or clean… (well, you get the picture.) She loves my son. If I were to hand pick a person to be here, it would seriously be her. Because she is awesome.
Having said that, it is really difficult to have someone in your house all the time. Imagine yourself with only a few hours a day when someone is NOT in your home. There is basically no privacy here. Between our nurse, our therapists, and all the other people who come and go from here – our door is revolving. Everyone knows if I haven’t cleaned. Everyone knows if I haven’t showered yet. Everyone sees my kids missteps, or my missteps. It is hard to give up your privacy for any reason. If you assume our life is suddenly easy because we have a nurse, you are wrong. There are definite benefits, but people often don’t realize what it would be like to give up their privacy.
This overflows into our personal life. It is difficult for our family to say “yes” to all the invitations we get. Please, continue to invite us to do things, but… please understand if we say no. Sometimes we need to do things just as a family – just together – just us. If you assume we say no because we don’t want to see you, you are wrong. Sometimes we need to have dinner with no one around.
I could go on, but I think the point has been made. This past week has been so wonderful with Alexander’s birthday – that I almost didn’t even post this. But the truth is… people make assumptions on others’ lives all the time.
You know what they say – Assumptions just make you and Ass.
Thanks Shell, as always.