Crap that only happens to me

Before We Meet In Real Life: Full Disclosure

May 10, 2012 By Kristen 28 Comments

An open letter to all my blogging friends headed to the SITS girls Bloggy Boot Camp in Philadelphia next weekend…

Especially my girl Kristen – who will be sharing a room with me -

There are some things you really should know before we get to Philly next weekend.

I really look like this:

I stress eat… and I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.

I take about a million pictures and suck in my face and neck to get the one that looks like this for the online world:

I’m just nervous that if I don’t come clean with a “real” photo – you might not even recognize me.

There is the issue of my bathroom problems. I’m sure you’ve heard. Thing’s aren’t quite normal anymore.

I should be ok if I avoid all fried foods like cheesesteak or French fries or beer or wine or stuff like that… Probably no problem in Philadelphia at a conference full of women…

So just in case, I may bring my plunger. We don’t need it now that we bought the flusher 2000.

I will also have my twitter handle hand written on my business cards. I got them last year – before I went to BlogHer, but I didn’t even have a twitter account then. And hubs is NOT down with me getting all new cards when I still have about a thousand sitting in a box, so … I will be re-using them. Hope I still look professional.

I’ve also decided I want to change my goals for blogging. When I started, I wanted to have an outlet. Some place – for me … that I could keep the crazy from taking over. That has happened. Then I started to make online “friends.” A lot of these friends talked about making it big in the online world and using this as a real job. I learned something this week. I don’t want that.

For me, it is just too complicated. I’m not going to worry about my stats any more. I’m going to write from the heart. What I feel like, when I feel like. And the business side… I’m going to let that slide. Because at the end of the day – the friendships are what I want to trump over the business of blogging. So, I’m really excited to meet everyone. I hope you are not expecting to see the skinny me – ‘cause she isn’t here right now. The real me will be hanging out by the doughnuts with her heart on her sleeve. Trying not to make a misstep in a world she really doesn’t know much about. And excited to try to make new friends. (and petrified she will clog a toilet or two.)

See you next Friday. xo

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Because I would Seriously Like to be Skinny, Crap that only happens to me, In the Online World

Day 6 – Tragedy

April 6, 2012 By Kristen 28 Comments

Warning! Men – proceed at your own risk. The photo you are about to see and accompanying description may be entirely Too Much Information.

But, I kept trying to come up with a better idea for Tragedy… and my mind kept wandering back to this….

This represents what is left of 10 months of effort. Actually, this is only 1/3 of what was left. When our freezer began to overflow, I stashed at least this much at an aunt’s and my mother’s. Have you figured out what it is yet?

Frozen breast milk. YUP. A freaking tragedy.

For 10 months, I pumped because Alexander could not suck and we needed to monitor his calories. Actually, the women with his medical supplies said I was the only person she had ever met to put breast milk in a kangaroo pump. (Although I know there are other Mommas out there who have done it.)

Pumping sucks. Seriously. And most people only pump during the work hours so they can continue nursing… NOT ME. I pumped just so Alexander could have the milk – because it was the one thing that only I could give him. Seriously. The only thing I could give him and no one else could.

So I pumped, and pumped, and pumped. I gave him exclusive pumped breast milk for his first year. And still had enough frozen to have fed him for his second year. (Each one of those “frozen sticks” is an ounce.) I believe I could get 40 ounces in a bag. And like I said… this isn’t even a third of what I had. At the end of his first year, we switched him to high calorie formula because he wasn’t gaining weight. I mean, he was an 8lb one year old. So, I packed it in and quit fighting a battle I couldn’t win.

And was left with frozen breast milk. As his second birthday approaches, I finally cleaned out the freezer. I’m defrosting and throwing it away.

Freaking Tragedy.

Start the 30 day photo challenge HERE. (Be sure to check out the other linkers!)

Filed Under: 30 Day Photo Challenge Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me, In the Online World, Meme

I drugged my child. And other confessions of a vacationing Mom.

February 27, 2012 By Kristen 10 Comments

There are so many things I learned on our vacation. Wait.. Can you call being holed up in a hotel room with 3 children and a dog while you do intensive training vacation? I’m unsure – but I did learn some things. As always, I’ve decided to share with all of you.

1. I am NOT Mother of the Year. I screwed up my kids so many ways on our “adventure!”

I learned that I enjoy lying to my children…a lot. And – Apparently, I’m really good at it.

Example: The question I’m sure you are all dying to know: What did we do about those fish?

I lied. Goo-Goo #1 went to “sleep” the day before we left. Andrew didn’t notice, so we left him sleeping until the day we left. We quietly flushed both Goo-Goo’s and no one remembered a thing… until we arrived home. Then…. Andrew asked what happened to his Goo-Goo. Addison was quick to follow. But, I am quicker! I told them that Goo Goo’s learned the trick~! Jump! We all did a dance in the kitchen. The I told them the sad news, Goo Goos began to jump so well, they jumped out of their bowl and into a lake at our adventure house. The kids were sad they were in a lake, but vow to teach their next fish how to jump only in the bowl. Problem Solver: Mom is a liar.

I learned that pooping problems are really best handled by the professionals.

I’m also certain you are dying to know if the plunger was put into use. As a full disclosure blog – I will tell you yes. I will hang my head in shame as I explain I had to walk out from our hotel (while my mother in law was in the room) and ask my husband where we put the plunger when we moved places. They all started to laugh. And Ray did that belly laugh that you just have to love. *sigh* Imagine me carrying that through the lobby.

Speaking of pooping problems. It appears I’ve passed some down. You know, it is not always easy to be “regular” while you are on vacation. One of my children became so bound up they refused food and water. This child even threw up a bit. I decided to spike their juice with some MiraLax – since we have this for Alexander. The child refused the juice. I then spiked the applesauce with MiraLax – and the child ate it! Great!!! Then the child grabbed the juice and drank all of it. Ummm Great! Because now you have taken enough stool softener for several 90 year old men. To this child, I apologize. Some day, you will feel better and we will laugh at this story. For now, I will just say, “Mommy is very very sorry.”

I learned that getting a puppy is hard work. Cujo I mean Mixie is going to do so many things for our family, but MAN! she is a lot of work.

She listens to us better. Sort of. When we came home we had a whole new place to learn. My house is cleaner. Magically. Because I was tired of saying “No!” every 3 seconds… so I threw all the toys in the basement cleaned up all the toys. And… We don’t give up. We don’t quit. So… things will get better every day.

For those of you wondering… We did actually graduate. Here is Mixie, Alexander – and all the trainers. And the amazing founder of 4 Paws for Ability.

The guy who looks like Simon Cowell? Sort of reminds me of him

I learned that if you can survive in a hotel room with your husband and a dog in training for almost 2 weeks… you can survive anything.

Ray – I love you. Seriously. You drive me bonkers, but I love you to death. Thanks for putting up with me for 2 weeks.

And that is pretty much our vacation in a nutshell. I’m off to train our nurse how to handle Mixie. Pray for us all!

***************************

Oh! And long overdue!!! The random commenter winner of a Meatloaf and Mac and Cheese Dinner from Wildtree to you with Erin is Charlie! Don’t forget to Check out all her great products and use CODE MIXIE for 10% off any products!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me, Does this dog come with an owner's manual?

We’re Not in Kansas Anymore People

February 14, 2012 By Kristen 13 Comments

Have you ever gone camping? You know.. in one of those rustic cabins where you are hesitate to sit on the couches because you are afraid that something is going to crawl up and bite you? Yeah… I love those! Camping is so FUN… don’t believe me? Check out this post HERE… we camp.

However, I had not envisioned one of these experiences in our “house” we are staying at while getting the seizure dog. I mean… I guess I should have realized this deal seemed too good to be true. Ray was totally prepared. He knew – our options were this “house” or a hotel. Imagine: Us, my mother-in-law, the twins, Alexander, and a dog in a hotel for 10 days. I’ll take the house..

But seriously – someone could have prepared me. We are Not. At. The. Ritz. Hell, I don’t even know if we are technically in a “house.”

We are in a basement of someone’s house. Yes. You read that right. We are staying in someone’s basement. I’m not going to lie… I laughed with hysterics for so long that Ray kept asking what was wrong. I think he was worried I was having a breakdown or something. I might have been having a tiny breakdown. I knew people wouldn’t believe me without pictures… so I took a few.

You know – of odd things like the shower in the kitchen. And our fridge is a beer fridge…

For those of you wondering… this is an outlet that apparently doesn’t work. And a shot of the cabinets we are not using. That “dirt” at the top? Cobwebs and bugs. – Just like at a cabin!

I know many of you are wondering. It has to occurred to you – my “issues” - may not do so well in a basement bathroom. I am NOT confident in the power of “swoosh” – so, when we went to Wal-Mart, I bought my safety net. Because I don’t trust 10 days in a basement bathroom. Yes… Ray was embarrassed to check out with me. True Story.

The kids don’t mind. They think it is “cool” to use the portable DVD player to watch Dora. Because… you know – we don’t have a DVD player at our digs. They just think we are on one great adventure.

Which, of course, we are. We made it safe and sound. I’m recovering from the shock. Today we go meet MIXIE!!! And, buy the twins their “pets.” – Fish. Great ideas, by the way, people. The twins are totally excited to get fish and – they have decided to teach their fish to fetch. So… maybe we will end up on the Today show or something. Because we have fish that FETCH.

As I’m writing this – I think my mother in law and I both just wet ourselves because someone upstairs just started jumping around at 11pm.

All I could reply was, “Welcome to life in the basement.”

Can’t wait to tell you all about Mixie – Stay Tuned!

***************************************************************************************************************

Last week was a crazy week… with packing and trying to get everything in order. Thankfully, I have a dear friend who sent me this delicious, make in 10 minutes, meal that my entire family loved. You know what was even better? It was super healthy. Even with my “non – healthy” substitutes. Erin sells Wildtree Natural foods. They are completely natural, organic, no msg, (or any other weird letters that I know nothing about) – so they are amazingly healthy. We don’t really DO healthy around here. My kids are more nuggets and French Fries people, but I needed something that would make it seem like we weren’t living in a McDonalds for a day.

Erin sent me a package for Meatloaf and a package of Cheese soup – with an extra bonus recipe to make Baked Macaroni and Cheese. Can I start by saying It was amazing. First – because everyone wants to know – it was super easy. I took my time and photographed the entire thing because I like to pretend I’m the star of my own cooking show – but I could have whipped this up in 10 minutes. Second… The smells. My husband came home and asked me what joke I was playing. No lie. Because it smelled like a real home. Like a house that June Cleaver lived in. Or at least someone who knows their way around the kitchen. Let me tell you people – it was a WIN. The food was amazing. Totally Amazing.

So here are the photos from my “Cooking Show.” Try not to drool too much. One Random Commenter will be chosen to have this dinner (um… you still have to make it : The packet of seasoning for “Mom’s Meatloaf” and the packet for Cheese Soup.) sent to them. Trust me – this is a no fail dinner. We had ZERO left overs. Hubs had 3 helpings and … I might have too. The kids scarfed it down – like I never feed them. Oh well – it was delicious.

First Up – “Mama’s Meatloaf”

** I did make a few minor changes to the recipe. It calls for grapeseed oil – and I didn’t have that in the cupboard, so I used Canola oil instead. Erin assured me any oil would be fine. Next time I make it, I will probably grate the broccoli. (Just to show you how “Martha Stewart” I am not… when I opened the bag of frozen broccoli – it seemed I bought the bag that has like the entire broccoli in there. Not the right kind.) – Anyway, I loved the flavor the broccoli gave it, but my kids weren’t that into the big chunks. Next time I will definitely make the chunks smaller.

So – Leave a comment on this post and have an opportunity to be chosen to get This meal! Or… Use CODE: MIXIE when visiting Erin’s website to get 10% off your entire order. Ready. Set. Go. Make a gourmet meal in 10 minutes!

ps. I got a free package of “Mama’s Meatloaf” and “Cheese Soup” from Erin. That’s it. The opinions are from one tired Momma who loves this meal.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me, Sponsors

Why I Don’t Have More Friends

January 30, 2012 By Kristen 45 Comments

Last week, I had a Silpada party. This seems like such a boring post, eh? The Silpada rep was cool… and she has kids my own age. I think, “hey! Maybe a new friend!”

Here is why I don’t have friends. This is the text I sent her today…. yes, a mere 6 days after meeting her. (BTW… I’ve never been to her house, met her kids, or met her husband.)

So, now that you are getting an idea of how things roll around here… I thought I would share some others.

All titled “Reasons I have no friends.”

Sent to our Photographer…. I needed to make sure she got our picture order correct:

I also needed a shower… as you can see. My hygiene is a big topic of conversation around here.

Sent to one of my “besties” when Alexander was in the hospital with a seizure. She asked if I needed anything. Be careful what you ask for…

Chocolate Cheers me up. In case she needed proof that I ate the entire thing….

Several messages transpired after my humiliating post:

One of my friends is now my boss. (or was) – it is really hard to maintain boundaries in that friendship. We never talk about work – but this ONE time…

Hard to believe my husband is a teacher too, eh?

And finally…. This was right after I got the IPhone. I though Siri was the coolest thing ever. Turns out – she’s not.

Hmmm…. Turns out my hygiene was called into question here again. I must take more showers.

And now you know – why I don’t have more friends. Feel Better about yourself. Your Welcome.

And… because I’m so “proud” of this – I’m linking it to Mama Made It Look Easy‘s Awesome posts.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me

The Most Humiliating thing that has Ever Happened to me

January 22, 2012 By Kristen 27 Comments

Also known as:

The Day I made my in-laws tear their toilet apart. OR – Crap that doesn’t happen to normal people. OR – How I single handedly ruined the playoff game for my husband and father-in-law. I’m guessing you’ve already figured out what might have happened today, but – please … allow me to back up. Fully inform you of the extent of my problem.

I blame the twins. Since having them – my digestion is… off. To be literal – I have a pooping problem. My closest friends can all attest to this. It is the topic of humor at our social gatherings. I have hot sweats that appear when I go into a new bathroom. Is there a plunger in here? What if I clog this toilet? Stinking Kids! What did they do to my intestines?!

When we switched doctors a few years ago, Ray made me discuss my pooping problems with the new doctor. You can imagine our conversation:

New Doctor (who is a man – btw): So, do you have any more questions?

Me: Well… there is something my husband wants me to talk to you about….. but – we just met. It is kind of awkward. **Long pause**

New Doctor: I’ve heard it all. It is ok. What is on your mind?

Me: Um…. I have these enormous poops. **cough cough**

New Doctor: **Actually laughing** Well, that doesn’t sound like that big of a deal. Eat more fiber. **chuckle chuckle**

Me: Thanks Doc. That’s what I thought.

Fast forward. Another pregnancy. Another kid. Still …. Issues. I increased my fiber and guess what… they got BIGGER!.

**I know. An entire post about poop – and it has nothing to do with my kids. **

Fast forward to today. My In-Laws have us over today for lunch and football. My Father-in-Law got me all my favorite foods Cheese steak sandwich / works. Chips / dip. Soda. I mean… works. You know where this is going, right?

Well… it happened. And Of Course my in-laws don’t have a plunger in the bathroom. And, I mean – if we are honest – this thing was the size of a small child. The plunger was a false hope. I run out to find Ray and whisper, “I need your help!” He took one look at me and knew immediately… That I was having another pooping problem. He started to laugh. “Stop Laughing! This is serious! I need you to come find me a plunger for this massive shit I just took! And don’t let anyone see us!

We sneak back into the house, find the plunger, and Ray leaves me to “fix my problem.” I’m not going to lie. I alternated plunging and praying for over 10 minutes. I mean… slow plunges, quick plunges, flushing, praying, more praying. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. was working. I begin to panic. I mean… what was I going to do?

So I run back out to get Ray. “Come quick! It is NOT working!” He started to laugh again. I’m not kidding. “Stop Laughing and get your ass back in here and help me! And… you need to tell your parents it was your fault.”

So, we sneak back into his parents house (that only has one bathroom), hover in a bathroom that is literally 4ft by 5ft. Plunging for all it is worth. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. works. OMG we are going to have to go out there and confess to his parents that I took a crap that was the size of a newborn child and now I have ruined their bathroom. OMG. I can’t face it. I go run for the couch and pull the covers over my eyes. No. Lie. I cannot face my in-laws.

I take to the one place where judgment is everywhere nowhere. Twitter. I began to tweet my desperation. My serious desperation. If you aren’t familiar with Twitter… read from the bottom up. You can sense my angst.

As you can see….

The plunger did not do the trick. Now my father –in – law and mother – in – law now know that I have a pooping problem. They go in search of a snake. Of course – no snake can be found… so they need to call a neighbor to borrow one. Guess what.

The Snake does NOT work. OMG. N.O.T.H.I.N.G. is Working. It is around this point that the questions begin:

“Does this happen often to you?” “What did you have to eat today?” “Do you eat enough fiber?”

I secretly snapped this photo because I was concerned people would not believe me. Because – in my heart – I know this crap does not happen to other people.

Ray ended up with 2 bottles of Drain –O. When we left, One entire bottle had been dumped into the toilet. It flushes, but not correctly.

*I’m pretty sure a plumber will need to be called tomorrow.*

*I’m praying no one in that house needs to take a crap tonight.*

*I’m almost positive that I will NEVER be able to use their bathroom again*

*Good thing there is a McDonald’s close by*

*Oh – did I mention my father-in-law and husband are huge Ravens fan? And this all happened about 2 seconds before kickoff?*

*I’m pretty sure we are never invited to watch another playoff game again*

So now you can all feel great about yourselves. Because – today – this did not happen to you.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me

Make Me Laugh Monday: I’m Not High Class

January 8, 2012 By Kristen 8 Comments

Welcome to Make Me Laugh Monday. Where we try to take the “suck” out of Mondays. Do you have a funny story? Funny Photo? Funny Video? Even a drawing is ok. The only rule is that the photo/drawing/video is your own work. Even the story can be fictional. You just have to Make us Laugh.

If there was a “class – o – meter” I am afraid that I would not register far above Red Neck. I try. I really do. But, I always end up in situations where I’m embarrassed because I have no idea what to do.

Red wine goes with beef right? Yes, this was my dinner the other night. I’m not too proud to say I counted bologna as red meet.

My friend gave me a gift certificate for a massage. She said I was too stressed out – it was stressing her out. She said I needed this massage relax.

This sounds simple enough… right? Walk in – get a massage. Go home. If only.

Problems with this scenario.

1. When I walk in, there are lounge chairs. I’m not sure if I should register or sit, so I wonder around like a goofball looking for someone to ask.

2. I start to think about relaxing. You know what happens when I relax? Sometimes I have gas. I start to worry that I am going to pass a big fat stinky one on some hot masseuse named Dominic.

3. I realize I didn’t shave my legs. I didn’t think about getting a massage when I left this morning, and the truth is I haven’t shaved my legs in the last month week day. Either way – I’m very concerned I’m going to embarrass myself when he realizes I have hairy legs.

4. Why did I sign up for this? Why? Why? Why?

5. I have to nervous pee. I go to the bathroom. I wash my hands. They have no paper towels. The only remotely possible scenario is these little hand towels that are rolled up, so I use one. But if they were for something else – sorry massage people – I made extra laundry. (It did cross my mind to walk out with wet hands, but I was afraid they would look in the basket and find no towel and think I was a dirty non-hand-washer.)

Don’t believe me? I have proof. I actually started to “tweet” away my anxiety – until I became too anxious to tweet.

Turns out – Dominic had amazing hands. He worked out my stress and I did not pass gas in his face. Thank goodness.

Now. Join in the fun. Grab the badge and link up – Make Me Laugh Mondays!

Powered by Linky Tools

Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me, Meme

I Have NO idea what I’m doing!

January 3, 2012 By Kristen 71 Comments

Etiquette. I know what to do in most social situations.

I mean… I know I shouldn’t fart pass gas in public. (or I should blame it on a kid) I also know I shouldn’t let people know when I’m peeing while talking on the phone with them. (Shoot. There is no way I can even scratch part of that out to sound credible.)

I also know that I should let people have part in a conversation. I know how to approach people in a friendly way. I know how to drop a funny one liner and walk away. I know how to tell a story (when I’m not medicated). I have a pretty extensive set of social skills. I make friends fairly easily and usually it is my choice when I don’t want to be friends with people. I have friends I call, friends I now text, friends I e-mail, and even friends I Skype with. I know it is totally creepy to follow someone home from work just to find out where they live. And I don’t do that anymore.Just kidding.

But I don’t get online etiquette. I seriously have no idea what I’m doing.

I mean… is it ok to ask someone to guest post on their blog? (because I might have done that once or twice.) What about twitter? How can I convince the cool kids that I’m cool too? Is it ok to confess that I sometimes write in the bathroom because that is the only place I can find quiet? That’s something I would tell my close friends… but I’m not sure the whole world needs to know.

I love The Bloggess. She’s the funniest person I’ve never met. She cusses. And – I don’t care. Because she says all the dumb stuff that other people think. (like tonight when I wanted to put this teething thing in Alexander’s mouth and he wouldn’t open, so I thought about pinching his nose shut to unclench his jaw.) She would totally write that. Actually… she would have done it. And then wrote about it. Instead, I think it… don’t do it because … well – CPS and stuff … want to write about it … and still think of CPS. CRAP! The Online world is so hard!

I also love MamaKat. She is like… the “mom” friend that everyone wants to have. Like the coolest mom on the block. That you just want to say – “Please – pick me! to be your friend! I’m super cool! I have no idea how I will prove it to you because a lot of time I lounge around in my hot pink velvet maternity sweat pants! But – I want to be cool…. so I put a scarf on myself!” friend. but can I really come out and say that?

And then there is Shell. Who is like… the guidance counselor everyone wanted to have in school. You know – super approachable. Honest. Has great stories. Is real about life. Gives you a chance to open up. Listens to you. Always. Makes time for you. Always. And you want to tell her that you are all grown up and cool enough to hear her secrets. Like you want to do the same for her as she does for you. But even as you write it you think about how creepy it sounds because what if she secretly wonders if you are a 65 year old man? So you don’t say it. Instead you keep putting little snippets up there to let her know want to be her friend. Because saying “I want to be your friend, but not like all your other friends that are just sort of friends; I want to be your real friend.” again… sounds creepy.

I have a bunch of Mom blogs that I love to read. If I listed them all… it would make this post obnoxiously long. Will Janae or Melissa or Helene be offended? Am I allowed to write a blog post about some blogs and not include others? Is this like have a party and inviting some friends but not others? Is this bad etiquette?

How many tweets can I do before I’m obnoxious?

How do I get the people I like to like me without sounding desperate?

How can I be real when the real me likes Must Love God AND The Bloggess. And I just said that in the same sentence.

How do I ask people where they are from or what conference they are going to without sounding creepy?

I hate learning an entire new language. I hate that I can’t have my friends put into little compartments. I know who to say what to. I know who can hear what jokes, what stories, what questions. I know what my In Real Life friends will find funny or offensive. Online – everyone hears everything. And I don’t know how to navigate this world; to build relationships; or be myself.

There. I just completely Poured My Heart Out for the first time in 2012.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me, In the Online World

I believe what we have here is A Failure To Communicate.

December 20, 2011 By Kristen 11 Comments

We have 9 therapies a week.
A babysitter. A nurse for Alexander.
An entire Pediatrician’s staff that bends over backwards to do whatever we need.
Every Specialist ever invented involved in Alexander’s care.
People who watch the twins on a moment’s notice.
And then – of course – family and friends.

All of whom – we would like to show appreciation for this holiday season.

I got this great idea. Let’s give Chocolate to our “Alexander” team. We could go to that really nice candy store downtown and get boxes of candy for everyone. We could get this huge platter of assorted chocolates for the Pediatrician’s office. We would show everyone how much we love them…. in the way only Chocolate does.

Then I priced this endeavor. And decided to re-think my plans. The homemade chocolate was going to cost us a fortune at $7.00 a pound. And we love them more than a pound’s worth! So I devised a little plan.

I sent my husband out on a mission. Get boxes of Chocolates from Wal-Mart. Also – get small gift bags or little boxes so we could “make our own.” Everyone would assume they came from the expensive candy store. And … well… that could be our little secret.

Husband went to Wal-Mart. Mission Completed.

My “Little Gift Bags”

Seriously?!?!!?!? These were the size of full on Gift Bags!!! He said, “Well… they had bigger sizes, so I figured this is what you wanted.”

My “Candy”

CRAP!!!!! What credible candy stores sell pre-wrapped Santas! And Hershey Kisses and Candy Canes? These don’t look like GOURMETTE CHOCOLATES!

**Upon reflection**
1. You shouldn’t try to “scam” people on their Holiday gifts. Especially chocolate.
2. Apparently my husband and I really need to communicate better.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Crap that only happens to me, Our Happy Place

Make Me Laugh Monday: Get Jesus out of the Barbie CAR!

December 19, 2011 By Kristen 9 Comments

I was asked to be a contributing writer at a Christian Woman’s Blog. I said Yes. It is www.mustlovegod.net. I’m super excited and can’t wait to start writing all these posts in my heart.

But – truth be told… I cussed three people out today. If it helps – I didn’t do it to their face.

I’m really glad the website is called Must Love God. I definitely do…. but I am such a sinner.

While we are still on the topic of religion… I bought the kids a Veggie Tales Nativity Set the other day. And, I’m totally conflicted about it. You see…. here is the thing – We have a Nativity Scene. It is our “no touch” nativity. And… part of me says the kids should be able to interact with the Nativity. They should be able to touch baby Jesus and they should be able to “feel” that which is hard to touch. So I bought the Veggie Tales Nativity. Here is my little problem. What if they start playing Barbie with Baby Jesus? I have a real problem with baby Jesus hopping a ride in the Barbie Car.

Which makes me think about how I come off online. I talk a lot about the praying that I do. Praying for guidance… Praying for wisdom…. Praying for my children. I don’t necessarily come out and blog about when I am irritated about things. (Ok. Well sometimes I do.) But – I don’t come out and air all our dirty laundry. (Ok. Well… believe it or not – what I do air is not ALL of it.)

I was getting dressed yesterday and wondering what I was going to put together for this post. As I was doing this – I was racing around our house, after my 3 minute shower, trying to find a pair of underware (living room), trying to find a pair of clean pants (basement), and trying to find a clean shirt (hmmmm…. closet). I totally gave up on the sock issue.

Did you know that 99% of the time I’m wearing socks with holes in them or socks that are on “day2”? Seriously – sometimes I even break down and buy packs of socks – only to see them disappear and I’m back to my holey / dirty socks. Today, at church, was no example. Sock on left foot – dirty. Sock on right foot – 3 holes. They didn’t match. Don’t believe me? I have evidence….