Embarrassing

No! No! No!

January 12, 2012 By Kristen 3 Comments

I feel like a child. Yelling “No!” Because I made a childish mistake. I passed judgment on another woman. And I should. not. have.

I’ve posted on not judging how many times?

I’ve posted funny photos of my kids dressing up. YES… sometimes Andrew was in a dress. He MIGHT need therapy someday.

I’ve posted photos of Alexander in the hospital. YES… he might need therapy too. But I want people to remember what we fight for. (And… I just added that little bit during my “edit before post time” – And I shouldn’t have had to.)

I’ve posted things about Addison and her “gawky” years. Ok… She is definitely going to need therapy.

We all do. In our own little way. We all put pictures, tell stories, weave our tale into our blog. It is our platform. Our piece of heaven. Our little slice… to be cut the way we see fit.

Now – that woman is being attacked. Personally…. like – all over the internet.

Do I think this little blog ignited a firestorm? No. I’m not delusional enough to think that many people read my blog. (Plus – I can see the stats. Smile ) But… I need to own the fact that my blog has added to it.

In 2 weeks I’m getting a chance to guest post. On a blog much bigger than mine. I’m going all out. I’m talking about the one thing I don’t talk about here. Why? Because I can. Because there is a little freedom that goes along with being a guest poster. You can open a little more. Because I want to write something worthy of being honored on that blog. Because I don’t want to be vanilla. I want to be Raspberry. And not everyone loves Raspberry. … but those who do – ask for it all year long.

Cut a Mommy a break. Her kids sometimes pluck her nerves. You know what? So do mine.

Finally – I’m going to leave you all with a confession. Are you ready to hear it?

Right now. Alexander grinds his teeth. He giggles and strokes my face. He “yells” at the top of his lungs when we don’t give him enough attention. It is adorable. (Well… not the teeth grinding – but…)

It is adorable because he only weighs 11 lbs and is so cute.

What if he still does those things when he is 20? What if I am embarrassed to take my child for groceries because he yells at the top of his lungs? If you think those thoughts never cross my mind – you are wrong. I push them away… but they are still there.

Does this make me any less of a mom than before? Or less loving than before? I say “NO.” And… I would tell anyone to walk a mile in my shoes before they said “Yes.”

And… neither is any other mom. We all deal with life as it comes to us – in one shape or another.

End of Soapbox. If you want to read the other two posts – they are HERE and HERE. But, if you comment… out of respect for Mommies everywhere, please say, “I agree (or disagree) with this point of view (and anything else…) , but I respect you as a Mommy for saying what you think.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, I've Got an Opinion on Everything, In the Online World, Letter, Misunderstanding, Parenting

Once Upon a Time, I called a Mommy Out

January 11, 2012 By Kristen 5 Comments

Earlier TODAY, I called out another Mom. Because she said something I wouldn’t have said. Really… because she chose words I wouldn’t have chosen.

And then a lot of other Mommies agreed with me. And I felt good that I might have caused a ripple of good to spread around this world.

And then this Mommy posted her two cents. And I felt bad because – she’s human and I’ve done a lot of stuff I will probably have to explain later. Plus… turns out we have a lot more in common than it seems.

And then one of my In Real Life Besties told me of a story when her mom called her a B*&%h and it was true. And I remembered this time I called my mom one – and she left the bathroom door open on me while I was taking a bath. To teach me a lesson not to call her that anymore.

Truth is – from age … um 9? until um… (how old am I now?) 32- I was a complete B*&%&*. At least during the hormonal years. And all of my pregnancies. And Post Partum. Which pretty much takes us to today.

And then… as if to make sure I learned my lesson – One of the people in my house who knows not to take a big smack in their pants …. did. Karma, baby, Karma.

I believe I have learned my lesson.

But… Alexander has learned a new trick. Want to see? I know you do. So it all ends well.

The video is super short because it looks like I’m at a guillotine.. and that’s just not my best look.- I linked both posts to Shell – PYHO.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, I've Got an Opinion on Everything, In the Online World, Letter, Misunderstanding, Parenting

Friday’s Confession Booth: I’m a “Borrower”

October 7, 2011 By Kristen 5 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s Confession Booth. To participate – you write a “Confession Post.” It doesn’t have to be serious, and you can read more about them HERE. Make sure you Enter the link-up below. Then grab the button and place it in your post to link back and share with everyone’s confessions.

Here’s the thing. I borrow things.

I like that term better than “steal” – because… well, stealing is illegal and immoral.

I don’t mean to do it. It’s not like I’m a kleptomaniac. It’s not like I walk into a store and then walk out with unpaid things.

It is worse.

I “borrow” things from my family and friends.

And … never take the time to return them.

There. You know my deep dark secret.

These spoons? They are my Aunt Mary’s. She brought them to Thanksgiving dinner – at my old house – before I was married. That means I’ve “borrowed” them for about 6 or 7 years. I even took them to Christmas or Easter one year – but she didn’t show. So, I still have them. Aunt Mary – If you are reading this… I’m really sorry.

I have a TV (it is a 13 inch in my defense) that I “borrowed” from my Mom. I actually tried to let my darling graduate borrow it when she left for college.. because she really needed it and my mom doesn’t anymore. (Does that make me a socialist thief?)

These hot pink velvet maternity sweat pants I’m wearing are “borrowed” from someone. Truth – I don’t even know where I’ve borrowed them from. *sigh* I just know that one day I woke up with hot pink velvet maternity sweat pants in my drawer and they are so comfortable… I’m wearing them right now as I type this. Don’t believe me? Check it out.

I told you… I have no shame anymore.

Honestly – I could go on. Outfits, CD’s (back when CD’s were cool), baking pans, jewelry, … the list never ends.

But, I swear, I’m not really a bad person. I’m just forgetful. Especially with other people’s things.

So. There you have it. My deep dark secret. Would you like to confess your secrets?

Just grab the button from the top to link back and enter the Link up.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, life, Meme, Misunderstanding, random

Get Back on that Horse.

October 4, 2011 By Kristen 5 Comments

I have no pictures from the first day of school. I was called down in an “emergency” …. One of my children played too hard. They played so hard that they forgot to stop and take a potty break.

By the time I got there with a change of shorts and underwear… that child was a “hot mess.” Pants, underwear, socks, and even shoes were soaked. (We needed to get new shoes tonight.) I’m not going to name this child because – the truth is – it could have been either of them. It could be any child. I’m also sure this was the big conversation of Preschool.

Going somewhere new is so hard. Everyone is new. The rules are new. The expectations are new. When I got there… my child was crying a hysterical cry … “I want to go home.”

“I want to go home.” I said those same words about 20 couple years ago.

I was in the 4th grade and went to a local church camp. The last night was this big dinner – parents and everyone came. Before we went down – our counselor asked us if we needed to use the bathroom. Of course I didn’t. Half way through the meal – I did. I told my counselor and she didn’t believe me. She said to hold it. I couldn’t. I was 10 years old and peed myself during a huge banquet… and sat quiet, using my feet to try to contain the puddle under my chair.

When we were finally able to leave the banquet – I ran to the bathroom and soaked my entire skirt – so the whole thing looked wet – not just the backside.

I don’t think I fooled anyone. And I never went back to that camp. I remember telling my mom, “I just want to go home.”

Ps…. Prior to this post – I could count the number of people who knew this story on 1 hand.

I’m so proud of my kids. I know they are not yet 3 and will probably never remember this incident. But… my child changed their clothes and went back to play. My child is going back to Preschool tomorrow – despite being the “kid who peed their pants.” I couldn’t be prouder. Way to get back on that horse. You are my role model.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, life, random

Friday’s Confession Booth: I don’t care enough to hide it

September 30, 2011 By Kristen 8 Comments

Confession for this Friday?

I take random photos of things that I think are funny or ridiculous … and then usually never do anything with them. Usually – it takes me too long between the picture taken and the event I wanted to associate it with, so they just sit on my phone. So here they are. Complete with captions.

* Remember… taken with a cell phone – so we’re not entering any photo contest here.
** Most of my life involves some sort of embarrassing scenario or another.

Life here is still a Series of Unfortunate Events. But, we still laugh. I guess my real confession this week is… that I don’t really care that we look like a bunch of nuts. I’m proud that we can laugh at ourselves.

Confessing with us? Come on! Join the fun. Just Grab the Button to link back and enter your info below.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, Meme

Friday’s Confession Booth: I’m a Hot Mess

September 23, 2011 By Kristen 5 Comments

It has been brought to my attention that I’m a hot mess.

I thought I was hiding it so well.

Apparently, I’m not.

I’ve stopped making my “healthy lunches” – tortilla pizzas with low fat cheese.
Instead I’ve opted to buy chips, snicker’s bars, hoagies, and sodas for lunch.
This morning, I stopped at Sheetz – grabbed two custard filled Doughnuts, two 2-liter bottles of regular Pepsi (they were on sale … 2 for $3.00), and a 12 – inch hoagie for lunch. Oh- and a 24 oz Cappuccino. It was Fat Free… so does that count?

Cappuccino – down. Doughnuts – down. One of the bottles of Pepsi – down. Hoagie – down. I actually carried the bottle of Pepsi down with me to lunch… where my friends confronted me with the cold hard facts: I’m a hot mess.

My fat pants are starting to cut off circulation to my legs again. My fat pants are hand-me-downs from a cousin who is shorter than me… so they are a little on the short side. This means I have to wear flats… and still I look like I’m wearing high – waders. My “flats” – could use an update. Apparently, this has been the topic of conversation since the last time I “flip-flopped” my way through the building.

I’m tired… like all the time tired. Confession? I’ve broken out in hives. Yeah, like a 7th grader on a bad day. Isn’t there some rule that after you ‘round 30 …. hives should not be in your vocabulary? My doctor’s solution? I should – decrease my stress and take these anti-histamines that basically are like elephant tranquilizers. hmmmm… Yeah, I’ll get right on that.)The smallest thing will have me itching at my eye / chest / arms / legs like I’m covered in some rare form of poison. I’m itching right now – base of the neck – because I’m writing this.

I slept through my lunch break 2 days ago. I could not get up to eat … if you know me – you know this means I’m really tired. Yesterday, I slept through dinner. At 4:15 pm, I told Ray, “I’m so sorry.” And promptly fell asleep. When I woke, about an hour later, I realized I missed dinner. Ray did tell me there was a lot of yelling that occurred over the course of the meal (I slept maybe 10 ft from our table) …. but I didn’t hear a word of it.


I couldn’t find Birthday wrapping Paper..

Enter the caffeine-o-rama today. I have to get a grip. I’m hoping the sugar and caffeine can keep me awake so I can finally just crash at bedtime. Oh – and not wake up a mere 2 hours later.
I need to make it to the post office to mail out some things tonight. I need to get a new pair of shoes tonight. I probably need to get groceries… tonight.

I could use a hair cut, highlights done, eyebrows waxed, and a pedicure. I would love a guilt free day where I magically got skinnier while being pampered. I would love to be able to juggle my life’s tennis balls a little better. I would love to hit Powerball.

Confession: I do not have it all together. I am currently a hot mess. My shoe/flip-flop is falling apart. I’m waiting anxiously for this weekend so maybe I can pull myself together.

That is my Friday’s Confession. What is yours? Link up – Don’t forget to grab the button to link back and enter your post below.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, life, Meme, random

Friday’s Confession Booth: Our Only Toilet is broken and I have a Cankle

September 2, 2011 By Kristen 2 Comments

My Confession of the week – Our Only Toilet is broken and I have A Cankle….
Yeah… you read that right. I have a Cankle… not two cankles – only one. However, let’s start with my first confession…. Our only toilet is broken.
When we bought this 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom ~~luxury mansion~~ starter home, the toilet was a little “on the fritz.” It really wasn’t that big of a deal… well, unless you count the first weekend we lived here. When Ray decided he was going to replace the toilet using a sledge hammer to knock the old toilet out. Thank goodness I found some relatives close by who came to ~~talk some sense into him~~ convince him that was not the solution to our problem. Anyway, since then – we have just learned to “jiggle the handle” and make sure it isn’t “running” all night or before you leave the house. No. Big. Deal.

Enter potty training twins. Who have to flush everything. In fact, flushing is a reward in our house. If you “do” something – ANYTHING – on the potty, you get to flush it. Needless to say, we should have thought this one out a little bit more before we enacted this reward. Now the toilet handle sits facing the floor. It flushes… sometimes. And, to get the “flushing” to happen, you have to spin it around – almost 180 degrees. Then you have to push in. Then you have to pray. Then… it might flush. Not the best situation for a 1 bathroom house.
My other confession is – after 4 years of pregnancy / baby rearing… I am left with a scar I fear is permanent. A Cankle. Now, most people do experience cankles during their pregnancy. This is the phenomenon where your calf swells so much that it seems to join up with your foot. That indentation that used to be called your ankle seems to disappear and all you are left with is a trunk that connects your knee to your foot. While pregnant, I experienced cankles. In fact – when pregnant with the twins, my feet swelled so much I needed to buy a size 13 MEN Crock shoe. Yes… size 13 men. It is shameful… but true. After giving birth to Alexander, I sort of assumed that my ankles would return and once again grace my ~~beautiful~~ extra large feet. And, one has. The other, however, is still missing. As I returned to the world of high heels and dress socks, I was horrified to realize that one ankle is still… truly … a cankle. It has not shrunk to the normal size. There is no longer a definable ankle bone. And even more horrifying is that fact that the other ankle has returned. **sigh**
Beware: The pictures below are graphic.
On the left are the – twin pregnancy cankles. On the right… one cankle

I am now the one ankle / one cankle’d woman. Two confessions for the price of one here people.
So…. what do you want to confess? Just link up using the grab button and post your blog information.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, Meme

Confessions

July 24, 2011 By Kristen 4 Comments

Tonight seemed a night to unburden myself of confessions. A rough day of unpacking will do that to you. Remember… don’t take yourself too seriously – life is too short.

Confession #1. Sometimes I buy clothes and wear them without washing them. (Under garments excluded).

Confession #2. I only like 2 ice cubes in my drinks. More than 2 – they hit you on the nose and less than 2 – they melt too fast.

Confession #3. I’m currently wearing shorts from the Good Will. (I washed them first.) I find nothing wrong with shopping sensibly. Almost all my kid’s clothes are bought from a second hand store.

Confession #4. I once took a walk and came home with an empty stroller… because someone in the “rich neighborhood” near us put it out for free. See Confession #3 for further explanation
.

Confession #5. I seriously think Caillou needs a spanking. And his “enabler” narrator needs to stop justifying why he’s always upset or whatever. Sometimes you just do things because an adult tells you to.

Confession #6. I never dry my hands after washing them. When I was younger my dad used to “check” to see if I washed my hands after using the bathroom. If they weren’t wet – I had to go wash again… its sort of ingrained.

Confession #7. I think Ann Coulter is a bit of a right winged lunatic. (I give my dad 3 days from this post to call about this. … )

Confession #8. I own a book called the Encyclopedia of Serial Killers. I know. … I know…. – but – I find the mind of a sociopath interesting.

Confession #9. My washer is currently broken. It sort of washes… it just doesn’t really spin correctly. And yes, I took my kids to the beach instead of fixing it.

Confession #10. We also lived in this house for 4 years with a stove that had exposed wires…. because I didn’t want to shell out the money on a good stove and didn’t want to buy a junky one.

Confession #11. When I wake up in the middle of the night – I check my blackberry to see if someone commented on the blog or e-mailed me.

Confession #12. I have a secret crush on Sean Connery. Yes. That one.

Confession #13. I only open our mail once a month. I seriously can’t handle it to open it every day.

Confession #14. I wear a size 11/12 shoe. Yes. You read that right. Stinking Pregnancy… no one’s feet should be that big.

Confession #15. I almost forgot! I wore a bathing suit to the beach this past week that I got when I was pregnant with the twins. That means…. **- it is 4 years old. ** – it was maternity. ** – it fell apart while we were at the beach. *sigh*

Sometimes we just have to laugh at ourselves. Confessions are good for the soul. There is nothing wrong with owning your little quirks.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, fun, life, random

The eyes that are always on us

June 14, 2011 By Kristen 5 Comments

It is sinking in. (Please don’t misunderstand this post. Our family needs for Alexander to get this service dog. I will do whatever is necessary to make sure all of my children are happy and healthy.) However….

The reality of how this will change our life is beginning to set in. We will no longer even be able to attempt to blend in. Allow me to explain.

As a mother of twins, people are always staring at you. When I was pregnant, people would say things about how enormous I was (and I was only 6 months pregnant). People would ask really intrusive questions, like, “Did you use IVF?” or “Are they natural?” It was as if people felt that had some right to blurt out things because the pregnancy somehow turned off the receptors between their brains and their mouths. I was once at a store and had the check out clerk as me if I was going to try to nurse the twins. Again…. totally inappropriate question to ask a total stranger.

Then you have the twins. Now a whole new level of “oohhhh… let me see” starts. For those of you who aren’t parents of twins, trust me – this actually happens. I remember one mother telling me that some stranger actually asked her which child she liked better. Or another mother recalling how a stranger said, “Oh good – you have a spare.” I know the majority of you are probably sitting there reading this with your mouths hanging open, but let me assure you it is true. My twins were born at 33 weeks at the end of October. It would be the dead of winter, flu season, and we would have to go get something from the store. People would constantly walk up, touch my children on the face, and get right down into the stroller to breathe their germy hellos to the twins. This might not seem like a big deal, but people – babies, especially premature babies do not have developed immune systems. The point is… twins make you stand out. People notice you. People pay attention. You don’t blend into a crowd.

When I take all three children out now, we can almost blend in. People want to come over and see the “new baby” – but, for the most part, we blend in.

Next year this time, our days of blending in will be over. When we walk into a grocery store, we will have a service dog. When we go to church, the mall, Walmart… we will have a service dog. I will be so thankful of the service this dog will provide, but it is a little daunting to realize that we will not blend in again. People will notice the unusual – the dog in a store. It is ok.

The blessings outweigh the fact that we will once again be on the radar of people who stare…. but the reality is beginning to set in. Eyes will always be on us.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Embarrassing, fears, Medical Issues, Seizures

Things I’m "Gifted" in

May 3, 2011 By Kristen 3 Comments

1.      Hitting inanimate objects with a vehicle.  

Let’s start with high school. I ran my dad’s car over the railroad tracks. Yup… people – not the road over the railroad tracks… I missed the road and ran right over the tracks.
I backed my mom’s car into the Garage. In my defense – I was backing it in, and I only hit the side view mirror (I didn’t take it off… this time), and we fixed it so she never even knew.
I hit the red pole at Sheetz. Yes, I know. It is inanimate… and RED. But I hit it anyway. This one did sort of get me into a bit of trouble because I knew I was going to be grounded forever (because I did it in my Mom’s car… I wasn’t allowed to get one of my own) – so I blamed it on her. The plan was brilliant… I walked in, asked her if she was in a wreck and too ashamed to tell me about it. We walked out and “discovered” the damage together. .. Brilliant ..until her friend spotted me diving the car about a month later and realized it was me who hit the red pole at Sheetz! And told on me!
I backed my car into a fence. Well.. more like side swiped it going backward. I ripped the mirror off that time.
I once backed our TRUCK (In my defense, it was a huge Dodge with extended bed and a “pappy cap” on the back) over the hood of our CAR. I got into a little trouble with my husband over this one.
And today marked the 1 Billionth or so time I’ve run over a curb. Seriously … can’t those things just get out of my way?!?

2.    Going to see the dentist and coming home with 1 less tooth!

I love my dentist. He is caring, kind, the type of person you wish was your friend.
He is also extremely competent… and he will take out a wisdom tooth in his office if you are in a lot of pain.
Yup – you guessed it. For the second time in a year I’ve gone in for a simple toothache only to have my wisdom tooth ripped from my mouth. Thanks doc.
No – seriously – Thanks. Without you, I would be in a lot of pain and stuck on some waiting list to go see a specialist who could do the same thing you do. You are awesome.

3.    Making Lists

I am the Queen of lists. A trait I inherited from my father – the King of lists.
My dad currently has a list that has over 100 things on it. He is newly retired and it is his “to do list.”
I have lists everywhere. I’m currently running off of about 5 lists.
My best lists start with “get up.” Then I can always check something off!

One of my many many lists!

4.    Thinking that mostly dumb ideas are not dangerous. 

I once road from PA to Florida in the bed of a truck. (I could probably end with this one and that would be enough… but I can continue.)
I was once run over by a tractor because I was helping my dad bale hay. (The mostly dumb idea was helping my dad… because this usually ended up in my injury) just kidding… sort of.
Smashing my hand. The most infamous time happened on a hot August day. I was taking a nap with the window open because it was hot and I had no air conditioner. I was also limited in my dress due to the heat. (Let’s leave it at that). It started to rain and I was too lazy to actually get out of bed… I thought I could close the window from a laying position. My thumb went inside the windowpane with the window…. Yes… that is correct… with the window. So – I hopped up – Started Screaming at the top of my lungs and Waving my free arm… to look down and see a crew of construction workers who thought I was an exhibitionist trying to get attention. *sigh*

Seriously… this picture was too funny not to put on here!

My husband swears these kind of things don’t happen to regular people, but I think they do… 

Anyone want to share?

Oh … I also wanted to share a few positives:
1. We hit over 1,000 hits on Alexander’s Seizure Dog page
2. We are over 2,000 hits on the video “What it is like to be a parent of a child with special needs.”
Both of these are because of your support.
I’m still waiting for the other video to take off… I think I need to rename it from “Our life updated” to something more universal.

So … back to embarrassing moments – anyone want to share?