Inspirations

The hardest working kid in Blogger Land.

March 30, 2012 By Kristen 10 Comments

Sometimes, when I blog – I just need to release that valve of pressure. I unburden my heart, so I can sleep at night. I would like to first thank everyone for their encouragement after reading this post of my heart. The truth is, our house has a lot more happy moments than they have sad.

Want to be happy this Friday? Be happy with us.

Alexander is eating like a champ. He’s been chowing down on lasagna, chicken dinner with stuffing and mashed potatoes, his new favorite – macaroni and cheese, and basically everything. (you would THINK that Turkey would gain a little weight!)

Sometimes – after he eats – he is so exhausted he falls asleep. Also, he has started to “rock” a bit. He needs extra sensory input, so I put a hat on him to give him that stimuli.

Alexander is also getting stronger. The best therapy – is seriously – siblings. Alexander is VERY aware of what his brother and sister are doing. And if they are doing it… then he wants to be doing it. See for yourself.

I’m not going to lie. I LOVE this picture with his hair. Love it.

Finally… if you want to see something really remarkable – check this out. He is truly amazing:

When the kids pray, they thank God for Mommy and Daddy and Alexander – and then everyone else.

Alexander is extremely vocal when the twins are doing something and he is not with them.

Several times a night, they walk up to him – wrap their arms around him – and say, “I love you Little Buddy.”

There is a lot of love going on around here. That makes me smile.

Share the love. What’s happy in your house?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Inspirations, Our Happy Place, Photo Heavy Post, Special Needs

Inspire Me ….

February 2, 2012 By Kristen 9 Comments

There are people who inspire me…. every day. It makes me lucky – to be surrounded by people who show me how to take chances, who to live boldly.

How many mothers of 5 do you know that decide to run a marathon one day? My dear friend Kristin, mother of 5 (her youngest being twins), was not a runner. She had NEVER run a day in her life when she signed up for Team in Training. When her sister was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago, she signed up for Team In Training. I can still remember her telling us – “If my sister can fight cancer, I can learn to run.”

And so she ran. And ran. She has now run 2 marathons and 2 half marathons. She’s in training for another one. She does this while mothering her 5 children. She does this while raising a family and running a home. She puts in countless hours – training, fundraising, and… fighting – for her sister’s cause.

Kristin was not a runner. She was an everyday mom who felt inspired herself. I cannot imagine signing up for a marathon, much less running one. But every year – when I see Kristin start to post pictures of her running shoes, her running partners, her necklace she earned at her last marathon – I feel inspired to be better. I feel inspired to do more. I feel inspired to find a way to give more than I take.

Thank you, Kristin – for inspiring me to Be a Better Person.

***********************************************************************************************************************************

Imagine one day waking up and deciding you were tired of working for someone else… Imagine taking a step out on a ledge, with 6 children, a struggling economy, and nothing but the skills you know you possess… Imagine deciding you were going to live your dream of finally owning your own business… Our close friend, Patrick has decided to do just that. I’m scared for him. In these times?! But the truth is… I admire him. I admire that he has the courage to go BIG or go HOME. I am inspired by his determination. I am inspired that he is not letting roadblocks stand in his way. We’ve known him our entire life… and he has worked harder than I ever have. When he was in college… he worked full time and took classes full time. Who does that? Who has that stamina? He’s a landscaper. Physical, demanding labor… and he is good at it. He knows the stakes are high. If he fails, he has a family of eight that are counting on him. But isn’t that what inspiration is? A leap of faith?

Thank you, Patrick – for inspiring me to Live my Own Dreams.

In honor of both of them, I am going to link to their passions.

For Kristin – here is her Team in Training fundraising page. If you feel led – to help her continue to inspire others… support her next marathon. Team in Training is a reputable fundraising organization that raises millions every year for cancer research.

For Patrick – here is his brand new business. He’s worked with other companies… He is slowly building a clientele of his own, but if you are interested in helping a small business get off the ground and running – here is your chance. I can tell you – he is an honest man. And…. I am inspired by him to Live My Dreams Also.

I would also invite my blogger friends to link up – if they have anyone they would like to honor as an inspiration… Please – tell us about them. We are dying to know who inspires you…

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Inspirations, Meme

I will FIX you

December 17, 2011 By Kristen 5 Comments

Most of you who read regularly have probably seen the video I made about our feelings when we first learned Alexander had Wolf Hirschhorn Syndrome. If you haven’t seen it… here it is. If you have – skip below. It gets better.

A close friend of mind made a video that touches me in such a way – that I need to watch it every once in awhile. She reminds me constantly that God’s plan is divine for each and every one of us. She doesn’t need to “fix” her daughter.

I’ve been struggling these past few weeks with sorting this out. I posted a little bit about this HERE. This fall has been pretty brutal for Alexander. 4 ear infections, one UTI, a bought with Pneumonia, and 3 seizures. It looks like we may be headed for surgery in the near future. We are going to see a urologist and then move on to a nephrologist. (they look at the kidneys.) We have “classic WHS kidneys.” – We shall see to what extent the kidneys need “fixing” – but it does look like the urologist will be “fixing” us up so he doesn’t have so many UTI’s. We are also going to see an ENT to “fix” Alexander’s ear infections. Probably we will have tubes put in. That seems the most logical choice.

Again. I will move mountains for my child. I do not want him to suffer. If tubes are needed, then tubes it will be. If other surgeries are necessary, then those will be also.

Our appointment on Friday was with the Neurologist. *sigh* This is where the “how much can I ‘fix’ Alexander?” eats at me. His illnesses have caused him to fluxuate in weight gain. He’s been growing longer and not chunkier. He seems to have a loss in muscle tone. Ok. He’s lost muscle tone. But he has this increase in appetite. SO…. I’m thinking that his dose of Keppra is making him a little “off.” We switched to name brand (which controls better) and upped his dose.

Should I ask the doctor to lower the dose a little? To avoid the zombie – like state I’ve seen him spiral into several times? What if he has a seizure then? How can I help him? without needing to “fix” everything about him?

Usually I’m ok. I can balance these dualities pretty well. This past week I was not that fine. I kept replaying my friends video and wondering if I was pushing too hard. Especially when it came to the neurology visit. Keeping the seizures away is our number one priority. All else must take a backseat. What if he just doesn’t have great muscle tone? What if that is the price we must pay to keep the seizures away?

Our visit went well. We had a great talk. We made some plans. Alexander is going to have some good Omega 3’s entered into his diet. I’m going to try to put some weight on him and see if he can “grow” into his dose.

Still… I must tread with caution. To help my son, but not need to “fix” him. Something I will continue to ponder.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Battling the Demons Within, fears, Inspirations, Special Needs, Sweet Child of Mine

It is So Much Work

November 30, 2011 By Kristen 17 Comments

I need to choose my words carefully. I don’t want to offend anyone or misrepresent my true opinions.

Got everyone’s attention now?

There are these tools. For children with special needs. These … amazing resources. They give life (literally) where life would not have survived. They change lives.

- In the literal sense… Alexander’s feeding pump has saved his life. His g-tube has allowed him to be hydrated and nourished; I know he would not have survived the past year without it. You have no idea how hard that is to actually say. Because the reality is I hate that thing. I’m the mom that dreams of ripping that thing out. Who dreams of the day when we don’t need it. Alexander didn’t use the pump regularly until last spring. You can read that post HERE. And…. then he just didn’t eat enough. Went way down hill….. This past summer, there were days where he was not oral at all. *sigh*

- In the life changing ways… we have standers, a wingbo, sensory toys, AFO’s, Vision therapy tools, a z-vibe, the iPad, and tons of other things to help Alexander develop skills he might never have gained. I really feel these therapies are changing the things people (especially with Alexander’s syndrome) can achieve. Sometimes older children are scary. But, what if that is just because they didn’t have access to all the things we have now?

Ok. So here comes the controversial part. To help a child with disabilities reach their full potential requires a ton of work. And… I’m not only talking about from the child.

Don’t get me wrong. Alexander is the hardest worker I know. He puts more energy into sitting up than I put into any activity. And often I find it ** tactless ** when parents of children with special needs whine. This is a little different. It is not a whine. It is not a post about “why is this happening to me?”

But … on a very regular basis – I beat myself up because I haven’t done enough to help Alexander that day.

In case you missed it … Alexander is eating now. And I mean eating like a champ. He is almost 100% oral. I say almost because he is probably just shy of his caloric mark. Here is where it becomes a lot of work.

* If Alexander is fed on the pump – all I need to do is calculate how many calories he needs, formulate a feeding plan, and pump it into his stomach. (In all honesty…. easy) There are other things that go into it… but you basically figure out the best nutritional cocktail and serve it.

* I have fought the pump since the beginning and it has required a lot of extra time and energy. And now… It is a ton of work. Not only does it take him a long time to eat (time that I can’t do much else), but I must also count every single calorie and nutritional aspect of what he takes in. Do you know how many calories are in 3/4 of an egg over easy? Or in 1/2 slice of bread? with a little bit of butter? How about how many calories are in an oz of cheese? Or is it too much to give cheese and eggs on the same day because of protein overload? How many calories are in “some” pizza? Or “some” pork? Anyway – you get the idea. It is not easy to figure out how many calories he is getting during the day to recalculate how many he needs to grow. It is so much work. I’m not going to lie. It is hard work for him to eat and it is hard work for me to help him to eat.

* The same respect, every piece of physical therapy equipment takes so much work. Alexander has to work so hard to move those muscles, but I have to put his braces on, his shoes on, give him time in the stander, adjust the stander, put him on tummy time, help him roll over, help him grasp for things, make the signs for “more” and “all done” when he is eating. We also have to use the z-vibe on him, mimic his coos, practice sitting, practice with the iPad technology…. practice. It is labor intensive and … work.

It is really a labor of love. I once heard a woman speak about how she spent 2 years touching her son on the shoulder to indicate when he should put the spoon to his mouth… until he was able to self feed. Two Years.

I am so grateful for all these things to help my son. But, there are times when it still really lies on the motivation of parents to move past these tools… to put the tools to necessary use – so development happens – and they aren’t necessary anymore. So much work.

So next time you see a parent of a child with special needs. Celebrate any milestone you can. And give the child a high five. … and the mom a hug. Because she probably needs it.

Thanks Shell…. For letting me Pour My Heart Out.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Frustration, Inspirations, Misunderstanding, Parenting, Physical Therapy, Special Needs, Sweet Child of Mine

Swimming in Sunshine

November 17, 2011 By Kristen 4 Comments

While walking this morning, I saw a man on a bike. It struck me… because the bike was old fashioned – without the extra “speeds.” It also struck me because … from my vantage point, that man looked carefree.

I want to ride a bike. With no hands.
I want to swim in an ocean of clear blue water. And lay my head back on a pillow of soft waves.
I want to wiggle my toes in the sand.
I want to taste snowflakes on my tongue as I spin around in a circle.
I want to sled down a hill. With no hands.
I want to ride in the back of a pick up truck on a bumpy dirt road.
I want to take a nap on the green grass.
I want to feel the raindrops on my eyelashes and know they are not tears.
I want to belly flop from a ~~high~~ low diving board.
I want to spend an hour looking at purses and shoes. Without guilt.

I want to unfurl the ball of stress from my shoulders.

I miss the simple pleasures of my childhood.

I’m in love with my life now, but there are these times when I long for some youthful daydreams.

Today is one of those days. I’m going to jot down my selfish daydreams and come back to them another day. Today, I will go home and be mom, wife, co-worker, and friend.

Today – I’m going to give myself permission to smile in remembrance of my youth and embrace the responsibilities of today.

Is there something you “want” to do?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: fun, Inspirations, random

I won’t take NO for an Answer

September 28, 2011 By Kristen 12 Comments

It is not an option.

It doesn’t exist in my vocabulary.

“Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we really want is worth fighting for,” unknown.

Here’s a letter I wrote to my students last week.

These are true statements. There is nothing I can’t learn, do, accomplish. Do you know what the rate of mg/kg of Keppra Alexander needs to currently keep his seizures under control? It is about 45 mg of Keppra for every kg Alexander weighs. This means that at 11lbs 8oz, he weighs 5.2 kg. He gets .8ml of Keppra 3 times a day. The solution is 100mg/1ml. The ratio comes out to 45mg/kg. (actually closer to 48… but you get the picture).

I hate math. I hate calculating things. And yet… I calculate.

I also calculate calories. A constant mental calculation of calories that Alexander eats. Liquid calories, food calories, supplementary calories… calculate, calculate, calculate.

Because I can. If I can inspire one student to believe they can do something they thought they “couldn’t” … Then I can be a satisfied ~~teacher~~ person. I know I’ve been talking about my big dream, but really – I’m living my dream. This dream of changing lives one person at a time.

Inspire. Dream. Inspire. Believe. Inspire. Push. Inspire… Don’t take NO for an answer.

We had our IEP meeting for Alexander yesterday. It went amazingly. Don’t take NO for an answer.

Alexander will continue PT and OT
Alexander will begin the process for developmental therapy and speech therapy services.
We will continue the LONG process of getting a Gait Trainer for Alexander.
We are going to attempt to enroll him in a “daycare” / “playschool” for Alexander a few hours a week.
All of these are really more for the social aspect of his development more than the therapy. I’m excited that more people will be around to give Alexander stimulation.

*sigh* relief. A meeting full of yes’s. Because, honestly – “no” is not in our vocabulary. An Obstacle is not the End… but the window into what we really want.

My children deserve everything I can give them. My students deserve everything I can teach them. Alexander is showing them why perseverance is so important. And I’m proud of my baby.

I’m linking with Shell today

Is there anything you won’t take “No” for an answer?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: blessings, I've Got an Opinion on Everything, Inspirations, Special Needs

It’s Just a Pipe Dream

September 23, 2011 By Kristen 6 Comments

I’m going to a writing conference. BlogHer is partnering with Penguin Publishing and they are sponsoring this writer’s workshop. I’m thrilled. I’m petrified. I’m both….

I want to be a teacher. I want to write. I want to do both….

I want… wow – I can’t remember when I have so vehemently wanted something so badly.

I want someone to say, “You can do it.” And… although my friends and supporters cheer me on … I really want to know if a professional thinks I have any shot.

Confession… I have never done anything that I wasn’t good at. If it was something that I wasn’t going to be able to do well – I just wouldn’t do it.
I wasn’t going to go. I was going to dream about going, make some excuse about leaving the kids and Ray, yada yada yada… and not go. The real reason I wasn’t going to go was – what if they don’t like me?

Then a good friend asked me, “How many signs do you need that you should pursue this dream?”
Five minutes later, another good friend said, “I really think you should take those Letters to your students and write a book…. and my wife loves your blog.”
And finally… 10 minutes before school let out, a few students were reading my latest “letter” and said, “I think you should write a book.”

Huh? Really?

I came home. Talked to Ray before I could talk myself out of it. And paid the registration fee. I’m going.

I feel like the girl who goes to the party alone…. Please let them like me. (Oh wait – I am going alone.)

Maybe it will be amazing. Maybe they will tell me that I have a story people would like to read. Maybe they will give me a signing bonus and tell me to write. It is those maybe’s that I am excited for.

Maybe all the spelling, grammar, and writing errors will be pointed out. Maybe they will tell me I have to commit more time to this blog. Maybe they will tell me to come back when I’m a little more polished. It is those maybe’s that I am scared I will hear.

I’m going to draw inspiration from my children. They are amazing. They never complain. They are fearless.

Once again… my babies have inspired me to stretch, go, try. My blessings overflow.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: In the Online World, Inspirations, random

In my New Normal

August 29, 2011 By Kristen 16 Comments

I’ve started to follow this blog – Finding My New Normal. I love how she writes and how open she is about her journey of dealing with her own demons. I had a rough weekend and was really worried writer’s block would keep me from writing anything worthwhile after my Big Post. It turns out… I just needed a few moments to allow my “new normal” to unfold.

In my “new normal,” my life has some extra worries. Thankfully, after I blog my fears away… they usually stay away. My big fear has left. (pretty much.) The other miracles that were laying on my heart have once again shown their strength and resilience. One endured open heart surgery at age 4. And. is. home. Our friends have been sick, battling seizures, and worrying about the consequences of the seizures. In my “new normal,” these things weigh on my heart and follow me into my dreams. But as good health returns to the members of our Wolf Hirschhorn family, my fears subside.

In my “new normal” – those fears that remain… I try to write about in the hopes of blogging them away. I found myself writing this post yesterday and then walking away from it. Today was our first day back to school… and several students from last year asked me about Alexander. I found myself repeating the same mantra I tried to instill in them all last year. You can let life’s circumstances define you… capture you… bring you down. Or you can rise above them… live out loud in spite of life’s circumstances … live out loud because of life’s circumstances.

As I found myself repeating those positive words all day, I remembered the healing power of the innocence of the young. I found myself smiling, pushing those fears away, remembering why I love my job. I knew I needed to come home and re-word this post.

In my “new normal,” I rage against seizures, wrestle with my weight, worry about the amount of stimulation Alexander will get in a house without the twins, and try to be all things to all people. In my “new normal,” I am learning that I cannot be all things to all people. Just today, I forgot to order Alexander’s Prevacid (he is out of refills) and we almost broke his pump. I was mentally preparing to get up every 1/2 hour to give Alexander his formula manually. (Pump is fixed… no worries there.) But, I am making lists to call the doctor and pharmacist tomorrow. In my “new normal,” I have to remember to manage my time, find a space for me, be a positive influence for students, and remember that my family is a priority.

In my “new normal,” we celebrate the first back to school with an evening at the park.

He is so stinkin’ proud…. Just look at his face. That expression says, “I’m cool, Mom.”

We rejoice in new tricks and old treasures found in – just being outside.

In my “new normal,” – we cherish our moments with our friends..

Yes… Andrew has a new girlfriend. He asks about her almost every day….

In our “new normal,” we still get excited by small milestones that are met. Alexander… riding in a cart – like a big boy.

The stress will come. I may launch myself over desks to answer a phone and feel pure RELIEF when it is not about Alexander. I may forget to order medicines or schedule doctor’s appointments or even enter a grade. I could dwell on the fact that I have a new normal… or I could embrace it. I can chose to live. out. loud. I can chose to dance in the rain. I can chose to live the “life” I preach to my students. I’m choosing it, baby. I’m choosing it.

I actually “cheated.” I wrote this post of my heart on Monday night, but – it is the follow – up to my last week’s PYHO. The post spiked at over 600 reads… I felt I should follow up with the I’m ok… in spite of fears post.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: blessings, fears, Inspirations

Education can’t keep up

August 25, 2011 By Kristen 10 Comments

There are so many thoughts running through my head.

First, there is the THANKS for the support from my post yesterday.
Second, there is the TEACHER-THAT-NEEDS-TO-SET-HERSELF-FREE thoughts…

I feel like a first year teacher. I feel like I’ve never been in the classroom before. Our world is changing so fast and we as educators can’t seem to keep up.

No cell phones in classrooms, but everyone uses cell phones everywhere else.

No cheating on tests but in the workforce we call that maximizing your potential or collaboration.

Students must LEARN all this knowledge … but unless you are a surgeon, when are people EVER on the spot so much that they can’t look something up?

What if? What if? What if? These are the things that circle my mind today.

We went back to work yesterday, and I could feel myself getting ENERGIZED to teach.

But how? Every couple of years, it seems my educational philosophy shifts… just enough to cause … a complete overhaul in my classroom.

I’m doing it all differently. I’m thrilled. I’m scared. I feel like a first year
teacher. And I love it. (And secretly hate it.)

I’m re-creating the stage for the ultimate Apprentice reality series. Only – I am in charge – and you have to pass to get “hired!”

I’ve changed the layout of my room.

Imagine this:

Students will now be in 3 man pods.
One person will be designated as the leader for the task and they will rotate jobs within their groups.
They will grade each other.
I will also grade them.
They will be given a list of “tasks” – (a video / a PowerPoint / a paper / a portfolio / etc.) that must be completed by the end of the marking period.
They can choose, as a group, which task they would like to complete for each unit of study.

It will be:
Skills Based
Research Oriented
Technology Rich
Student Led
Learning.

They must collaborate. They will rotate groups and rotate leaders within their groups. They must motivate. The group leader will have extra responsibilities, have a different assessment rubric to rate the performance of the group, and will receive extra “credit” for how the group performs. Like. In. Real. Life.

So few of us actually work independently anymore. And even if you do work alone, you still need to develop good people skills. Besides that, I have the benefit of access to technology and I believe students need to have the ABILITY to understand a map or political cartoon or information found on the internet.

So, students come in … collaborate together… pick their “mode” of assessment … and then answer an “over reaching” question using that medium. All the while, I’m watching and guiding what they are doing – and they are holding each other responsible and accountable for work. AWESOMENESS.

It is a complete re-vamp of my teaching style. In one weekend. Complete with lesson plans. Ready. Set. Go.

I have to write rubrics, create classroom expectations, create posters, create teacher rubrics, narrow down my thoughts into how questions could possibly be answered in these mediums, design lessons to teach the essential skills needed to use the mediums, and …. look like I’m an old pro at it. Because one slight pause – and students will sense indecisiveness… In order to make sure high standards are met, I have to make sure the entire package seems professional. Have I said, “Ready. Set. Go.” yet?

I’m so excited. Without crushing my spirit – What do you think? Would you like to come learn in that classroom? Have I mentioned how excited I am?

Ps. Don’t forget – Bloggy friends – Tomorrow I am starting Friday’s Confession Booth. Just so you know – my confession is something funny and small – nothing deep like my past few posts. It can be anything … just post and link up! I’ll be posting at 7am EST. and the link will be open then!

pps. I was looking for motivational videos.. and found this. God is Good.. He knew just what we all needed.

ppps. I’m testing the “timed” posting now that I’m back at school… hopefully this works!
Picture is from HERE

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Inspirations, Teaching

How Dr. Dre, Eminem, and My Students Saved Me

July 4, 2011 By Kristen 3 Comments

I don’t know how to write this… so I’m going to try to do the best I can to stay on track. Last fall, when I returned to school… I wasn’t fully recovered from all the changes of my life since Alexander’s diagnosis. Going back to school was such a daunting task. What do I say? How much do I reveal? How will Alexander do with us away? What if something happens to Alexander while I’m at work? What do I tell my students?

The truth was, I was still grappling with the loss of a dream as well. You know, that dream of what my family would look like…. the dream I had while I was pregnant. Honestly… I really just didn’t know what to say or how to act. I decided to tell my students. To just be open and honest and answer any questions they had to the best of my abilities. I made cards – red, yellow, and green. We all had them on our desk. A green card signified it was the greatest day ever and we were thrilled to be in class. It said, “call on me! I am feeling awesome. Yellow said – I’m ok. Not awesome, not terrible. And a Red card said, “please leave me alone. I’m having a terrible day and I just need a break.” We all used them. I explained that a red for me probably had nothing to do with them, and everything to do with home. I’m proud to say I was green almost every day… without even thinking of it. You don’t know how many students told me they came in and looked at the card first thing when they walked in the class. I also looked at their cards. I respected their red days. (Too many reds would mean a guidance counselor call… and they knew it) – so when it was red, we all backed off. I was doing the best I knew how to be “normal” and “myself” at the same time. But… I was still not myself. I still was… coming to grips with how the circumstances of my life was going to impact – my life.

I would also like to tell you that I love my job. (If you haven’t noticed) Behind my family, it is my second greatest passion. I would love to talk about it more, but that is an area that really should stay private. I can tell you this. I take the responsibility of being a mentor, role model (to an extent), a teacher very seriously.

Enter Dr. Dre and Emimen. Their track, “I need a Doctor” – was the slap in the face I needed.

In this track- Emimen and Dr. Dre have both been off the scene for awhile. Eminem has gotten his life back together and is reaching out to Dr. Dre. He is pleading with Dre to “come back.” He is reminding Dre of his role as a mentor to Eminem… how Dre believed in Eminem – even when no one else would. Eminem is revealing his desire to be stronger, show everyone what he is made of, and telling Dr. Dre the time of recluse is over. He even says, “You’re gonna either want to fight me when I get off this mic or you’re gonna hug me, but I’m out of options, there’s nothing else I can do.” – because he is so blunt with with Dre – telling Dre, “It hurts when I see you struggle… second guessing yourself… you’re supposed to be my mentor …. remember who you are.”

Slap. Remember who I am. Slap. Remember who I am. Slap. Remember I am a teacher. Slap. Remember that I am to be a mentor. Slap. Remember that people depend on me. Slap. Remember I can change a life. Slap. Remember who I am. Slap.

**Disclaimer – Grandma… don’t watch this video. If you hate rap, don’t watch this video. If you hate Eminem or Dr. Dre… don’t watch this video **

That song helped me to get a grip. Believe it or not. It helped me to refocus and not drown in the overwhelming circumstances that seemed to be happening at home. It helped me to find balance. It helped me to remember who I am. Dr. Dre, Eminem, and my students saved me.

If you want to have a discussion about my choice in music, please read this post FIRST. If you want to talk about how my listening to Rap music is sending me strait to hell, please read this post FIRST. Remember, everyone is entitled to an opinion… and I knew this post might turn some readers away. But, this has been in my heart for a long time. Time to let it out.