Writing

Trends that Must End.

January 4, 2012 By Kristen 29 Comments

I’m writing to one of MamaKat’s writing prompts.

Why? Because I’m bored and I like them.

Here’s the problem… none of them really suit me. I’m tired of talking about New Years and old posts. I only ever punched one thing – and that was when I was in the 6th grade and her and I are still friends. My in-laws are super nice and would eat anything. And… the cast of characters to play our movie would put Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt back together… so I’m pretty sure Angelina Jolie will end up punching me.

What does that leave me? Top trends of 2011 that I would like to see end. Sounds easy enough, right?

Except – I live in the STICKS – like Amish country – and things that are trendy here are not trendy in ANY OTHER PART OF THE WORLD. So, I’m pretty sure my “trend” list – is going to be someone’s list from 2004… that is about how far behind we are. But, for the sake of our readers and with the aid with a big glass of red wine, I will do my best.

1. UGGGG Boots. Seriously. What is up with a boot that you can’t get wet. What is the freaking point? I live in PA. It rains here. It snows here. When it is cold – like cold enough to wear boots – then it snows. What happens if you wear your boots out and it starts to snow? Do you take them off and put them in your bag? I mean…. They cost like $175.00. Maybe for some this is chump change – but I will have to sell a LOT of Ad space to purchase a pair of them. So – I could buy them – but then I could only wear them around the house. Which means I might as well get hot pink velvet slippers to match my pants.

2. Skinny Pants. Listen People. We are the fattest country on the universe. Stop shoving your fat butts in skinny jeans. Not only that – but (haha – a pun) – people buy jeans that are too skinny for their butt. I don’t want to see anyone’s underwear. Certainly not some fat person in too skinny jeans that has any sort of undies showing out the top. I’m still boot cut 1986 all the way baby! (Ok… maybe not 1986 – those pants touched your boobs – but at least 2003).

3. Gaged Ears. Look. A lot of people look cool with small gages. They are young. They are hip. What I think they fail to realize is they will some day be old. And saggy. And – when everything on your body sags… the last thing you want is ear lobes that sag and draw attention to your sagging face. Tip – you can buy regular earrings that look like gages. Buy those. All the coolness and none of the later sagging.

4. Caillou. I realize this bald little twit has been around since before 2011, but my kids have only started watching him this past year. I mean… come on. You are 4 and still have no hair? He is a whiner. That kids needs a big fat spanking. And then he needs another one. I’ve banned him from my house because I can’t handle him anymore. I’m convinced he is Great Britain’s revenge for the USA becoming its own country a few years back. They have been simmering in silence until now – their perfect revenge… Caillou.

5. I’m also tired of the 1,000,000,000 danger / survival / I’m a hillbilly shows. I love Deadliest Catch. And… because I love my husband – we watch Dual Survivor. But – the Swamp Men, and Pickers, and Moon Shiners, Crocodile Hunters, … and now there are like 5 new fishing shows? People listen – even Deadliest Catch is not that awesome without Phil Harris. Stop with all the mania. No one wants to watch some man and woman survive in the desert together. I think I saw a commercial for a survival / bachelor show? UGH. Because you can find true love when you are traipsing through the rain forest.

There. That is my list. Top 5 Trends of 2011 that I think should End. Like Yesterday. Boots you can wear. Fat people (or skinny people) in jeans that don’t fit. Saggy Ears. A whiny brat. And the reality shows that are the exact same.

Oh… and I stole borrowed all these pictures. Click on the picture to find out where.

What is your list? Please… if you love Caillou– go comment on someone else’s blog. At MamaKat’s – lots of people are linking up.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Writing

New in 2012

December 30, 2011 By Kristen 7 Comments

Ok. So here they are. 2012 Resolutions:

1. Smile More. Worry Less. (the wrinkles are inevitable… but smile ones are more attractive.)

2. Hug More, Kiss More, Love More. Worry Less. (Hugging and Kissing are much more fun.)

3. Pray More. Worry Less. (If I pray more… I should be able to release my fears to God.)

4. Write More. Write Better. Find a new topic to write about that is not Worry. And Worry Less.

5. Remember what is Most important in my life. Prioritize my responsibilities. Live according to those priorities. Embrace Change. Live in the Moment. Cling Tight to those I love. And… Worry LESS.

From Left to Right… Me with Ray, Addison, Andrew, and Alexander. The Great Loves of my Life.

So what are your New Year’s Resolutions? What do you think of the Blog’s New Look?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: life, Writing

New Year in 2011

December 30, 2011 By Kristen Leave a Comment

So now is the time for New Year’s Resolutions. I guess this would be a great time to talk about some of mine.

* To lose some weight. I know, I know…. every year. But seriously – I have no excuse now. I’m not pregnant.. which brings me to the next resolution

* To not be pregnant in 2011. It will be the first year in several that I haven’t been. It will be a lot easier to lose weight if I’m not “eating for 2 or 3″

* To finish my degree to be a principal. I’m 3 classes (2 of which are scheduled for the spring semester) and a practicum away from this goal.

* Once I lose weight – I’m going to be a better dresser, curl my hair, and wear makeup. (maybe….)

Those are “goals” … resolutions. Things that can be broken and very well might be. Here are some musts for 2011

* To be a good person. People support me. People support my family. We may not always be able to support people monetarily, but the gift of friendship is one that is free. I must be a good person. When I am gone – I want that legacy – she was a good person.

* To be a strong wife for my husband. By strong I mean… to love in times of stress and rejoice in times of non stress. We have a lot of stress. People without stress have marriages that do not last. I must not take him for granted and remember every day how wonderful he is.

* To be a mother my kids can respect. To kiss the boo boos. To help them learn right from wrong. To love them unconditionally. To balance all of their needs. To remember that if I don’t meet every “want” at every time, it does not make me a bad mother – only a human one. To tell my kids I love them every single day. Every single day.

* To not give up the faith in Alexander. To remember to work with him on holding his head, sitting, rolling, and eating. To not let life overwhelm me and allow Alexander’s therapy to take a back seat.

* To not allow Alexander’s needs to overtake our life. All things need a balance.

*To push the fear away. The honest truth is that within me is still a lot of fear of the future. I try as hard as humanly possible to live in the moment. To remember that anyone can be sick, etc… but the truth is – if I try to envision my life in 10 years I become almost paralyzed with fear …. because there is no picture of Alexander. Addison- I can picture her as a pre-teen… sassy. beautiful. headstrong. a reader. She might not turn out that exact way, but at least I can picture something. Andrew – I can picture him as a mini-Ray. Athletic (he already stops to line up his shot when kicking the ball) Smart. Tough. a cooker (he loves to cook). Again… he may turn out totally different, but for now that is how I picture them based on their personalities. The truth is …. I don’t know how to picture Alexander. Is he a walker? Is he in a wheelchair? Does he eat? Is he on a “blenderized diet?” Does he use his g-tube? Does he have head control? Does he speak? IF he does not speak, eat, or walk…. it is ok. Just look at my beautiful baby and you will know the most beautiful love there ever was. I just want to hold him and kiss him all day. But….. not knowing, not having even a glimpse – is so nerve wracking. Where are those crystal balls when you need one? I don’t want to lose faith. I want to push him as much as he can be pushed. But hope can sometimes be a very fearful place.

I would like to lose the fear in 2011. I’m sure I will and 2011 is going to be a rockin’ year!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: life, Writing

12 Things of 2011

December 28, 2011 By Kristen 8 Comments

There are a ton of end-of-the-year link ups right now. They all sound fun. Favorite posts, favorite pictures, favorite recipes, favorite memories. I was going to try to combine a few – but that just seemed like too much work. Besides, I sort of did that last week on my blog’s anniversary.

My Front Porch Swing and 4 Plus an Angel tried to make an end of the year review so easy it would be no stress. So, of course – I stressed. I could pick 12 words or 12 photos to wrap up this last year.

12…. Only 12? I need a bigger number … like 25-50. Because I have no idea how I’m going to get 12, but I’m going to do my best. Just for the record.. I started with 20 and paired down to 12. But – these are some of my favorite photos and I believe these 12 words summarize our last year. Happy Holidays.

Innocence

Bonding

Joy

Unstoppable.

Adoration

Beauty Whimsy

Experiences Worries Acceptance

Unity

Love

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: life, Writing

The Lost Gift

December 24, 2011 By Kristen 7 Comments

Have you ever bought a gift early? Like over the summer early? Like… you see it. It is perfect. You must buy this perfect Christmas gift that is perfect for your hard to shop for person….

I am photo sort of girl. I love all things photo related. I dream of Coach bags I can’t afford. I decorate with snowmen in the winter and most of my collectibles don’t matter to anyone but me.

My step mother loves to read. She reads books constantly. (We do have this in common.) But her tastes are different than mine. She collects skunks. (fake ones) She likes rod iron dragons and unique looking mystical things. Her tastes are diverse, and in a pinch – I know a Willow Tree figurine or a David Shore collectible will be appreciated, but earlier this year I found the perfect gift for her.

While at a craft show – I found rod iron Dragon Book Ends. Not the gift for me. The perfect gift for her. I mean perfect…. I knew she would love it. I bought those suckers right away and this feeling of complete satisfaction warmed my heart as I could check her off my list. early. Awesomeness.

I lost those bookends. Seriously lost them. We were camping when I bought them, so I have looked through all our camping gear and the crevices in our van. I ripped apart our gift hiding places. I ripped apart the twin’s room, our room, and Alexander’s room. Problem? We have a lot of people in our house. We tend to put things “out of sight” when we have therapy appointments, etc. Problem? We contemplated selling our house. When the man came to look at our house, we did a mad clean up of the house. Problem? Lost Bookends.

After I ripped the entire upstairs apart, I moved on to the basement. We’ve had a few bouts of heavy rain… with a little water. So – some things have been “thrown around” to make sure they don’t get wet. Then there are medical supplies. Don’t forget about the clothing we can’t throw away because Alexander will grow into it someday. *sigh* So many boxes to go through. I looked through these boxes… Did I shove these bookends in one of these places? Anything is possible when you know someone is going to look everywhere in your house? I looked in our playroom, office, and all storage areas. I even cleaned out the space under the seats in our van… just in case.

At first it was funny. (this was 4 days ago). Then I was worried (3 days ago). It moved onto introspective (2 days ago) as I used the time to look at old toys. Finally – today – I was frustrated.

Me ~ “Where is that freaking Gift?!?”

Ray ~ “Stop Cussing.”

Me ~ “I’m not cussing. Freak is not a cuss word. I would NOT cuss over a CHRISTMAS present. That is totally wrong.”

Ray~ “It is when you use it in place of another cuss word.”

Me ~ “Shoot.”

Ray~ “Stop cussing.”

We all have our flaws, but for me… when I ventured into the realm of fake cuss words so close to the birth of our Savior – I knew it was time to give up. I called my dad in tears. I asked him what Wal-Mart gift my step mom would like …. something she would really like – because we are celebrating in an hour and this was 10pm last night. He gave me a good idea, and I made my way to what I knew was going to be a hot holiday mess.

2 miles into my drive, I got a call from Ray. I found it. Buried under stuff at the bottom of Alexander’s closet.

So… I know you are dying to see this mystery gift. Here it is:

Not my perfect gift, but the perfect gift for her. And I’m not going to lie. I’m totally excited… because I know she will love it.

Anyone else at the end of their rope over something silly this holiday season? Anyone else lose gifts?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Memories, random, Writing

The Lists… things you never knew

November 30, 2011 By Kristen 13 Comments

I’ve decided to write to another Mama Kat’s writing prompt. It is a bit of a tough one… I had to copy and paste it here to get all the wording right:

Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe.

Five things. … It sounds so simple, but – actually it is so tough. I mean… what if I hit publish and then suddenly remember something different that should have been on that list? What if there are not 5 things people don’t know about me? I mean… I’ve shared a lot. And just today I was in awe of a blogger who revealed some things that I could not have put on the internet. Do I reveal those things? eeek! So here goes… my lists of 5.

5 things you don’t know about me:

1. I once rode to Florida in the bed of a pick-up truck. Yes, the bed had a cap on it. No, that still doesn’t make it quite legal. In my defense…. it seemed like a brilliant plan at the time. We put a futon mattress in the bed of the truck and 2 people drove while the others slept. We were able to make an 18 hour drive strait through and feel like a million bucks when we got there. We also had a blast on the way there.

2. I am a psychologist / sociologist at heart. I’ve worked in the social work field before. I scored a perfect on those parts of my “teaching” tests. I love the way the mind works. The way people work. I love arguing the other side. I love sharing both sides of life… in the science of people.

3. I know how to paint. As in… I’m actually pretty decent at it. People (including myself) always laugh at my drawings – because I don’t take the time to make them good. It is funnier and faster to just pretend you are terrible… but – I actually have pretty decent talent. Some day I will dig up my old paintings / drawings and put something on here. Until then – you will just have to trust me.

4. I love to bake. I used to bake pies and cookies and cheesecakes and … pasta dishes and chicken cordon bleu from scratch. … when I was off work on maternity leave. I enjoy it. I enjoy making a mess and having a meal come out just right. I enjoy finding a recipe and anticipating that first bite. Love it.

5. I have a fear that deep down people will not like me. I hate to go to parties alone (I end up acting desperate for a friend.) I sometimes obsess over what I said… did I say too much? too little? Was I too aloof? or to sociable? Was I really funny? or just obnoxious? I can drive myself crazy sometimes. I’m better (a little) now… but usually because I have a kid with me. How sad is that…. I use my kids as my “wingmen?” *sigh*

5 things I’m knowledgeable about:

1. I know a lot more about WHS than any person ever should. When Alexander was diagnosed, I did what I do best… learned. I learned and continue to learn… how to care for him, how to help him, how to …. I would consider myself an expert in my son’s life with this syndrome.

2. I know how to build things. I actually think I’m “male” brained. If it is broken, I can usually fix it. I can usually find my way out of some lost situation, and I knew how to change the oil in a car before I could drive. I’m pretty handy with a saw (yes… even a table saw), drill, and all those sort of “fix it” tools. I actually like to build things and usually I’m the one who puts things together in our house.

3. I know how to write. Although… this is a passion I’ve only recently begun to indulge. I was always good at writing papers. I could whip up a research paper at a rate of about an hour a page in my hay day. A persuasive paper? with no sources? a page in 10 minutes or less. These blog posts take much more time, but they also require much more thought and care with my words.

4. I know a lot about kids. It turns out… I know more about babies than I thought I did. A mothering instinct did exist in me (I thought it might not.) I actually like small children. (I didn’t used to.) I honestly like teenagers. I sort of “get it.” I mean… growing up is rough. I usually can figure out a scene and have basically a good relationship with most people age 18 and younger. (Older… maybe not.)

5. I am knowledgeable about history. I am a total history buff and love stories about Rasputin and Gandhi and the Louis *of France* – see the next list. I like geeky things like the history channel and the Biography channel. A great biography? – there is nothing like it. I always said my dream in life was to be featured on A & E’s Biography Show… because that meant I did something special.

5 things I know nothing about:

1. I do not know a foreign language. I can’t memorize for the life of me. I took 3 years of French and could not pass the test to get into basic French in college. I was going to have to take “remedial” French … as if 3 years wasn’t remedial enough. So…. foreign diplomat – gone.

2. I don’t know anything about how to live in wealth. There is this phenomenal book by Ruby Payne … and in that book she actually has 3 tests. “Can you survive in Wealth?” “Can you survive in the Middle Class?” and “Can you survive in Poverty?” It turns out – I am strait up Middle Class… although, I could survive in poverty. The skill set needed to survive in wealth escapes me – so when I hit Powerball or the big time, I will have to hire someone to help me.

3. I know nothing about mechanical advantage. I specifically put this here because… despite the efforts of many people to teach me the laws of physics (while I was in physics class and later in life) and specifically mechanical advantage – I do not get it. The only real law I understand is * If you drop something on your foot – it will hurt.* Other than that – I don’t understand it. And … to tell you the truth… I really don’t care. So, yes. If I have to lift something heavy, I WILL have to call someone for help.

4. I don’t know how to to rap. And I sort of wish I did. (This probably could have gone under things you didn’t know about me also.) It could also be because I’m watching the Grammy reveal and it is a country / rap song performance… sort of weird. But – I do practice “rapping” when I’m alone in the car and need to vent out some frustrations.

5. I don’t know how to get rid of my stress. There – the serious part of this post. I really don’t. As soon as I figure it out – I’m going to let you all know.

5 things I believe:

1. I believe in God. I believe that he exists. I believe that heaven exists. I believe I will go there someday. I believe that I will be reunited with the people I love in heaven. I believe that this life is only temporary…

2. I believe 99% of the population was born good. They want to be good and just don’t know how. I believe people can be reached… changed… if only you can find the way.

3. I believe that somehow I am going to change the way people look at the world… for the better. I don’t know how. I don’t know if it will be through this blog or through teaching or … some other way. But… I believe that I will help people to stop using the “R” word, that people will learn acceptance of others, and that I can have a part in this.

4. I believe you should own your actions. I believe that you should stand up for what you believe in… but own those things. If you believe in something – say it out loud… and stand by it. I rarely even get angry when students break a rule. It is when they don’t accept the punishment that I become disappointed. You can break a rule… but own it. Be prepared to accept the consequences. Be prepared to accept the consequences of your life. I believe that.

5. I believe that life is a gift. That every moment wasted is … well – a moment you will never get back. I believe you should live hard and love harder. I believe you can have bad days and good days …. and bad moments and good moments – but you should still live hard… and love harder. Because – tomorrow is just one more day closer to no more days together.

Thanks MamaKat – for making me really think this week.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: life, Writing

Kristen FAQ

November 3, 2011 By Kristen 11 Comments

So here are the answers to some Frequently Asked Questions:

1. Are you having any more kids? None’Ya. As in None of your Business. Don’t know. We’ll see. Are you? Are you pregnant right now? Why aren’t you? How come you aren’t going to have any more? …hmmm – too personal?

2. Were your twins “natural?” Nope. We just did it a lot. *sigh* I know… that answer is a little much – but so is the question. I’m just going to go back to None’Ya. Does it matter? Does it make them less of twins? Or me less of a mom? Who cares anyway?

3. So…. does anyone else in your side or your husband’s side of the family have Alexander’s syndrome? Yup. We all do. Actually… we all have something worse – the ability to speak. Like you just did. Our genetics give us the insensitive bone that would allow for such a question. Does it matter? Does it make a difference? I did it. I have the magical power (that most of us associate with God’s divine miracles) to chop off part of a chromosome.

4. You talk about your weight struggles a lot. How much do you weigh, anyway? (was really asked this within the last month). I weigh somewhere between 112lbs and 1/2 a ton. You can give an educated guess somewhere in there. (As I punch them).

5. How long do you expect Alexander to live? (A crazy lady asked me this) Longer than you.

6. Which one of the twins do you like more? (Seriously used to get this all the time) I like Andrew more. No wait! Addison more! No wait…. who just bad mouthed me? Because I like the other one more! How about I love them both… sort of equally? Ever hear of that?

Honestly – I don’t think most people have malice in their hearts when they ask these questions. I think people more or less are just curious and lack some tact.

Here is what I think people want to know….

7. How do you do it? I drink a lot. (Kidding) And watch a lot of reality T.V. My life doesn’t seem so bad when compared to Kim K’s 72 day marriage. (Not Kidding)

8. What is it like to have a child on a feeding pump? Weird. Totally weird. Every night… when I mix up the bag and put him on the pump, I am surprised that I am doing it. Almost like the first time.

9. How do you manage attention for everyone? The best way we know how. We try to push past the fear of germs and hurting Alexander to encourage them to hug, kiss, play with him. Pray … pray that they all know we love them. Blog… blog my love into permanent ink.

10. Are you ok? Yes. Thanks for asking.

Thanks Mama Kat – for letting me link up today.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: fun, random, Writing

Who will Love me for me?

October 6, 2011 By Kristen 5 Comments

This song is my song. This song is the song of my heart, my children, my students…

Here is the song. You can find the lyrics at the bottom of the page, but for now – I’m going to explain how this song has become the song of my soul.

I believe in “late in life” marriage. If asked honestly – I would tell you that I am fairly against teen marriage. I would encourage people to sew a couple of wild oats and give themselves a chance to mature before settling down. A teenager changes so much into early adulthood. The process of maturing and “finding your real self” should be crossed without boundaries. And then… when you know who you are – find someone who will Love You for You.

What happens when a huge life changing even happens late in life? What happens when your life is thrown off the tracks and your entire person changes? Your priorities shift? Your needs shift? What is you were one person and… suddenly became someone else? I’m thankful that Ray is along for the ride, but I can’t help but empathize with a man who married one woman and ended up married to someone else. The birth of Alexander has sort of changed everything. It changed me. It has opened my heart to other priorities. It has opened our lives in this blog. Ray is a private man. I am blogging our lives away. Who will love me for me? The answer is still Ray – but the question is who am I? Every time I think I know… the winds shift, another opportunity arises or drifts away, and me is different. It would be so much easier if me was the old me. Who am I now? and then… Who will still love me for me? Not for what I have done or who I will become?

This is the song of my children also. Alexander… who has his own needs. Who will love him for him? Not for what he has done or what he will become?
Andrew… who is a “twin” and a year older than Alexander. Who will see him for him? Not for what he has done or what he will become….
Addison… the other half of Andrew. The other “twin.” Who will see her for her? Not for what she has done or what she will become…

I believe this is the song of every mother to their children. You worry… You want people to love your children for all those beautiful qualities that make them unique. You want people to see them as individuals. You want people to see your children for them…. Not for what they’ve become or what they will become.

And finally … this is my song for my students. Here is the letter I wrote to them this week.

You don’t need to date someone to be someone. Your qualities are not based on other’s perceptions of you. Be yourself. Give people a chance to love you for you… not for what you have done or who you will become…

I love that at the end of the song J.J.Heller reminds us that no matter what – God will love us for ourselves. A beautiful message.
Here are the lyrics….
He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please…
Could you send someone here who will love me?”
Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner then he would’ve stayed
And she says…
Who’ll love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?

‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means, what love really means
He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said, “I know you’ve murdered
And I know you’ve lied
And I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I…”
I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you

So what do you think of the song? What is the “Song of your life?” This was the question asked by Mama Kat.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: fears, In the Online World, Letter, Writing

I feel trapped.

September 29, 2011 By Kristen 13 Comments

This was a comment made this morning. By someone with a label. That broke my heart.

I wasn’t going to write this post. It is in answer to a question about labeling. (Ok… I was debating about doing this writing prompt because I am trying to flex my “writing” muscles a little.) But, I am in the middle of a picture heavy, happy fall post. I suppose I was toying with the idea because I had words floating in my head, “what does labeling mean?” “is it fair?” do I support labeling?”

And then… a conversation that hit a little too close to home. “I feel trapped,’ can you imagine?” yes… I can.

Here were my original thoughts:

Labeling is essential in life. As a teacher, there is no way I can appropriately teach you if I don’t know what “level” you are on. Can you read? Do you need a big challenge? How can I push you? What are your interests? How can I engage you? How can I relate to you? Everyone is different, but – grouping people into “sort of boxes” gives me the advantage of reaching people at the level they are.

Example: If you put William Hung in the same music class as Jackie Evancho, everyone might get frustrated.

Yes, inevitably everyone gets labeled. The nice thing about our society is that we don’t live in a caste system. You can move freely in and out of your label. Athletic, musical, intellectual, social – you can be all at once or move into and out of your labels.

That would have been the gist of my post. That would have been the stand I took. My head still says… “We need labels! They are a necessary ‘evil’ in life!” But my heart weighs in heavier on this one.

I Feel Trapped.

Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Teacher, Administrator, Coach, Student, Child…. it could have been anyone.

Andrew. Addison. Alexander.

Alexander’s eyes say, “I feel trapped.” I know he is cognitively aware of what is going around him. He laughs. He plays peek – a – boo. He wants to do things that his body just will not allow him to do. When I look into his soul… it says, “please, don’t let me stay trapped forever.”

What if we would have listened to the doctors when he was born? What if that label would have defined him? What if others let that label define him? What if someday we are not around to look into his soul and fight to release him? I hate every label attached to him. I hate the words “Mentally Retarded.” I hate the words delayed. All the while my teacher – self says those labels are necessary to get him the assistance he needs, my “mommy-self” screams those labels do not define my child.

Andrew and Addison. They are the the siblings of a child with a severe disability. They are close in age. Where ever Alexander goes, they will also go. And vice – versa. I pray that they can stay together. I pray that they support each other. I pray they don’t have resentment for the things they have to or can’t do because of their circumstances. Please… just let them love and support each other.

What if Alexander’s labels harm their feelings of self worth? What if the labels that come with them change their feelings of self worth? How can I prevent that? How can I prevent them from slipping into a caste system where they can never overcome a label?

In life, I am a Mommy first. I am their Mommy first. I have some real concerns about the labels that are now innately attached to them. I am afraid those labels could be so life defining that they won’t be able to attach themselves to other labels.

I’m linking up today with Mama Kat – and her writing inspirations.

Oh – And don’t forget to link up tomorrow if you’re “Confessing!”

So what do you think? Labels a good thing? A necessary evil? Or – all together wrong?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Parenting, Special Needs, Writing

New Year in 2011

December 30, 2010 By Kristen Leave a Comment